Total pages in book: 84
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 80821 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 404(@200wpm)___ 323(@250wpm)___ 269(@300wpm)
I just kissed my second man.
And it felt better than any kiss I’ve ever had, every kiss I’ve ever had combined, maybe any other moment I’ve ever had.
“I should go,” I rush out.
“Don’t go. Please don’t go.” I watch as he adjusts his dick. “Yeah?” he calls to Meadow, who is still upstairs.
“Oh, never mind. My sewing machine was stuck, but I fixed it,” she shouts.
“Okay. Rhett and I are going out for a bit. I want to show him a few things.” He’s talking to her but looking at me, pleading with me not to leave.
Why? Why does he want me to stay so badly?
“All right! I’m probably going to bed soon,” Meadow replies.
His voice is huskier than normal when he says, “Will you come out with me?”
I nod, not sure I can find my voice.
We put on our coats, and then I follow Tripp out the back door, along a lighted walkway, to his shop behind the house. He presses a code and opens the door, signaling for me to go in first.
I do, and a moment later light bathes the space. It’s warm, like mine, so he clearly has it temperature-controlled too. When he takes off his jacket, I do the same, sweating even though it’s not that hot in here.
“Are you okay? I’m sorry if that’s something you decided you didn’t want and I didn’t realize it.”
“What? No,” I finally find my voice. “I wanted it. It’s just, I always thought I was straight. Despite kissing Dusty all those years ago. And then you…and how it felt…why hasn’t it ever felt that way? I didn’t know it could feel that way.” I pace, hands in my hair, pulling in frustration.
I’ve never been a very sexual person. That’s partly why the kiss with Dusty surprised me. Most of the time, sex was something I did because it felt like something I was supposed to do, but tonight, I hungered for Tripp.
“Hey. Slow down. We’re okay. You’re okay.”
But I can’t slow down. I don’t know if everything will be okay. “What if that kiss messes everything up? Meadow, or work, or things with East and Archer.”
“You’re giving us a whole lot of credit here to mess up a lot of things.” He intercepts me, slips his arms around my waist, then presses his lips to my nape. “It’s okay, Rhett. We’re okay.”
His hold makes me melt against him. His scent slows the rapid beat of my heart.
“I’m sorry. There’s something wrong with me.”
“There’s nothing wrong with you.”
“I’m weak.” Isn’t that what we’ve been told? Showing emotions is weak according to Gregory Swift.
“Jesus. No, you’re not. Come here.”
He takes my hand, leads me to the back of the shop and into the small office there, with a couch, a desk, and a chair. He sits me down on the couch in this way I would never let anyone else do to me, in a way no one has ever wanted to do with me, and then joins me.
“The last thing I want is to mess with your head. You thought of yourself as straight?” He dances his fingertips against my temple.
“Yes.”
“Did I do something to make you feel pressured to kiss me?”
My gaze snaps to him. “No. Fuck no.”
“Just making sure. It’s okay to just realize you’re bisexual, or pansexual, or however you choose to identify.”
There is so much I’m figuring out about myself, it’s overwhelming. “How could I not know?”
“There doesn’t have to be a reason. Maybe you just didn’t know how to admit it to yourself. And it’s okay to explore who you are. You’ve never given yourself that opportunity. You’ve done everything your father wanted, and now you’re trying to figure out what you want. That’s something to be proud of.”
It’s something I want to be proud of. I want to believe him, but it feels so convoluted.
“Can I be honest with you?” he asks, his hand traveling to my nape and resting there.
“Yes. I’d prefer it. I need you to be honest with me.”
“I liked kissing you. I wanted to kiss you. I like you, Rhett. More than a friendship, and I haven’t wanted more than just friendship or sex with someone in a long time—not since April. But more than my want for you, I care about you. This friendship, I think it means a lot to you too.”
I swallow. Then nod.
“That’s the most important thing. I’m afraid of doing something that could hurt you. I haven’t dated since April left. I don’t know that I’m ready to have an official relationship with someone Meadow knows about. She already feels like her mom abandoned her, and I worry about bringing someone into her life, and then how it will affect her if it doesn’t work out. I want you, but I’m scared to want you. I’m scared my daughter will get hurt…that I’ll get hurt…and of hurting you. But I also know that I can’t kiss you like I did tonight without my feelings getting involved even more.”