Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 91775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 91775 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 459(@200wpm)___ 367(@250wpm)___ 306(@300wpm)
I shake my head. “There’s nothing between me and I’rec. Our entire relationship was messy. Do you know I was sent away from the Icehome tribe? I was young and I flirted with all the single guys…and they flirted back. The attention was so nice. God. For the first time, I felt like the center of the universe. But then they also got jealous of each other and started fights, and so I was sent away because they decided that guys that hunt and contribute were worth keeping and I wasn’t.” My voice grows bitter and I realize that yes, I’m still resentful of the entire situation. I haven’t forgotten, haven’t forgiven. “I went to Croatoan and lived with strangers, and they were so lovely and kind to me. They didn’t make me feel like I was a problem. Like I was some beach Jezebel.”
And yet they still weren’t my people. Everyone at Croatoan was friendly and wonderful, but they had all known each other for so long, had bonds together that I couldn’t possibly understand, and no matter how much they tried to include me, I still felt like the odd one out. I was the only unmated woman, the only unmated person of my age, and the only stranger. No matter how I tried, I still felt like the odd one out.
It’s why I returned to Icehome. I wanted to see if it felt more like home than being at Croatoan for four years, or if I’d always feel like the one that didn’t belong.
“It was wrong of them to reject you,” Rem’eb tells me fervently. “Any male would be proud to claim you as his mate and have you at his side.”
I shake my head. I don’t know if he’d understand about my childhood of boarding schools, of summer camps away from home and nannies because my parents were never around. I never lacked for pretty clothes, or the newest phones. Just…attention. Affection. Maybe that’s why I need it so badly. Maybe that’s why it hurts so much when Rem’eb doesn’t see me. “Then why haven’t you asked me to go back with you? To your people?”
Rem’eb’s expression is stunned. His mouth falls open. “I…I did not think to ask. I did not realize you were waiting for me to ask you.”
“I didn’t realize I needed you to ask until just now.” I shrug. “I guess I needed to hear from you that you wanted me.”
“I do want you. I want you more than anything.” Even as he holds my hands, he lifts his others and cups my face. “I cannot bear the thought of one morning without you by my side, and that is why I have not asked you to return to my people with me. I would never let them put you behind a wall.”
I give him an encouraging smile. “Then you take down the wall.”
Rem’eb hesitates. “That is my goal, but it might take time. Some will be resistant to it. Some will worry that the sickness will spread again. That we are making things unsafe for the very females we seek to protect.”
“Did anyone ever ask these women if they wanted to be behind a wall?” I shake my head, playing with his fingers. “People are allowed to choose if they want to be with their mates or not. Maybe some will want to stay behind the wall, but others will want to be with their families. They will want freedom. No one deserves to be shut away because they’re a problem.”
“Like you were?” he asks softly.
I nod. Maybe I have more in common with the women there than I thought. “Things are changing, too. Like Harlow said, we might be able to send messages back and forth through the pod—the Oracle. Even if we can’t, we can send runners back and forth. If you have an outbreak of sickness in your village, I know Veronica would come and help out.”
He considers this. “She is the dragon’s mate? The one with the special khui?”
“She’s a healer, yes.”
Rem’eb nods thoughtfully. “If she comes to our village, I am not certain my people would ever let her go.”
His worry makes me chuckle. “Have you seen her mate? They can try.”
Rem’eb laughs, and I don’t realize how rare the sound is until now. My poor, serious, sweet man. He carries far too much on his shoulders for one person. His smile fades a little as he gazes at me, stroking my cheek again. “I just do not wish to risk you.”
“You won’t. If things go sour, you can help me escape again.” I give his hands a cheery little shake to go with my joke. “Now that both our people are aware of each other, the cat’s out of the bag, as my people say. There’s no going back. We’re always going to know of each other, but that’s not a reason to be fearful. We can share the fruit cave and its wealth. Better yet, we can establish trade between our people. You grow those mushrooms and you have that gorgeous cloth, and we have red meat and furs and roots.” I beam at him, excited by the prospect. “Heck, for all we know, your people’s sickness isn’t contagious. Maybe it’s a vitamin deficiency of some kind from living underground.”