Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 122550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 409(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 409(@300wpm)
“No, you’re not!”
“Jilly, the only place we seem to communicate well is in the bedroom.”
Well. That could be true.
“You were nearly in hysterics because you accidentally broke a vase. You’ve been trying to change yourself to be what you think I need, when I should have made it clear all I want is for you to be you. Crazy, funny, affectionate Jilly is who I need. I want . . . I want you to bounce your way into my office and tell me about some crazy idea you’re having. Or for you to sit on my lap and tell me it’s time to come eat or relax. To make it clear that you need me so I can lay you out on my desk and eat that delicious pussy. I don’t want the Jilly who holds back out of fear of doing or saying the wrong thing. Who moves around this house like a ghost for fear of disrupting the dust that’s been sitting there for centuries.”
“There’s no dust! Gerald would never leave dust anywhere.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it. If anyone is a dusty old artifact, it’s me. Caught up in the old ways because I don’t know how to be any different. If anyone needs to change, Jilly, it’s me. And I need you to show me how to do it. How to be more affectionate with my family, to show them that I care about them. To not have them worry about riding a hoverboard down the hallway or crashing into an ugly old vase that I hated.”
“You did not hate that vase,” she said.
“I did. I hate them all, really. Actually, I stored away everything expensive that I liked when the boys started visiting. But I left that one out, hoping the boys would break it.”
“You’re lying.”
“I do not lie.”
She shot him a look.
“To you,” he added. “I’m glad it’s gone. That vase sucked. It was always annoying me. It was smug, looking down on everyone else. Including me.”
She had to giggle at the idea that a vase could be smug. Also, he’d just said the word, sucked.
“If you want to change anything in this house, then go for it. Paint the walls, move the furniture, throw it out and buy new stuff. I never cared what this place looked like. Because it never felt like a home. Not until you came here.”
And her heart just melted.
“Jilly, don’t ever change yourself to try and be what you think I want because you are already what I want. In fact, I need more of you. The real Jilly. Not this fake one in weird clothes who doesn’t run-hug me or sit on my lap or scribble book ideas everywhere. Jilly, I love you.”
She buried her face into his neck and burst into tears.
“Oh, my sweet baby. Shh. Shh.” He rocked her back and forth. “Everything will be all right. I’ll make sure of it. Just don’t cry. I hate it when you cry.”
“I’m not sad crying, I’m happy crying. Because you finally said you love me!”
“I’m sorry it took so long, baby.”
“And . . . and I really didn’t like that Jilly! She was such a bore!”
To her shock, he burst into laughter. “You’re right. She was such a bore.”
She started giggling again.
“I don’t want to push you, but how would you feel about speaking to a therapist about your father? It feels like he’s left deep scars, and I don’t want you to continue to be in pain.”
A therapist?
It wasn’t a bad idea. Seeing a therapist had never been on her radar before because she’d never been able to afford it.
“Think about it. If you do want to speak to one, I know that Lottie spoke to a therapist in Texas that she liked.”
All right.
She wiped at her cheeks. Reaching over, he grabbed some tissues from the side table. Then, clasping hold of her chin, he wiped her face and nose. “Blow.”
“Regent.”
“Blow,” he said more firmly.
She blew her nose just as the door opened and a small head poked in.
“Ew. That was gross. Can I see?” Ace skipped over to where they were sitting.
She attempted to climb off Regent’s lap, but he held her still, wiping her nose and putting the tissue on the other side of the sofa, away from Ace.
“No,” Regent said to Ace. Then he moved his gaze to hers and gave her a firm look.
Right. She guessed he didn’t want her moving off his lap.
“Aww. No one ever lets me see their snot. I don’t think I’ve ever seen girl snot. Is it different from boy snot?”
“I think all snot is the same,” Regent told him.
“It’s really not. Some of it is really gross. Like green or yellow. The clear stuff is boring.”
“This stuff was clear,” Regent told him.