Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 122550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 409(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122550 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 613(@200wpm)___ 490(@250wpm)___ 409(@300wpm)
“Shh. You’re all right, baby. Everything is fine.” He placed his hand on the back of her head, rocking her back and forth. “I don’t ever want you to think I’ll harm you.”
“I know you won’t. But you don’t need to hurt Lowell either.”
A sigh left him. “But I do.”
He picked her up and sat with her on his lap. She settled in against him, feeling exhausted.
Emotional rollercoasters were tiring.
“I don’t want to remind you of your father. Or be anything like mine. But the truth is that I am the boogeyman of New Orleans.”
“No, you aren’t!” She tried to sit back to look up at him, but he was holding her too tight.
“I am, baby. I’m the monster in the night. The person people fear. And that’s the way it has to be. Because if I’m not that terrifying monster, then the whole fucking system falls. There would be chaos. It would not only be violent, but it would also be deadly. I’m at the top of the food chain because I’m not afraid of doing what has to be done. I make the big decisions so that my brothers don’t have to. Baby, I’m the monster so that I can keep you and them safe.”
He loosened his hold on her, reaching down to tilt her face back. “The truth is, baby, that I can’t allow anyone to disrespect or hurt you because it makes me look weak. And if people think I’m weak, they’re going to come for me.”
“Oh.” She hadn’t thought about it like that.
“I never intended to have a proper relationship. I’ve had women in the past. But they never came to my house or met my family. I had an apartment I always met up with them.”
“That might be more information than I needed,” she grumbled. Should she mention that she’d seen him go off for a private dance at the club?
Maybe. But she wasn’t feeling brave enough.
“I think I stayed away from you, partially because I was so drawn to you. Because if I went any further with you, then I knew I was going to be in trouble.”
She frowned. “In trouble with who?”
“With the world. Because you would become my vulnerable spot. One of them. The biggest one.”
“I don’t want to create trouble for you.”
“Baby, you are trouble. But the best kind. The sort that makes me feel like I have a home to come back to each night. A reason to live.”
She sucked in a breath.
“But I will guard you with everything I have. People need to fear me . . . so they know that if they even look at you strangely, they will suffer. Do you understand now?”
She did. It still worried the hell out of her, though. However, now she was scared for him.
Because what would he have to do to protect her?
“Do not worry about me. I know what I’m doing. All I need from you is to be that soft spot for me. To be the place where I can let the monster go and just be Jilly’s Regent. Where I can feel safe peeling back the darkness and letting some light in. You. You’re my light, precious girl.”
She blinked her tears back, amazed that he thought she could be that for him.
“I’ll do that.”
“And you’ll let me protect you how I see fit.”
She hugged him tight. “Yes.” At the end of the day, it would be her sacrifice for being with him.
And she was willing to sacrifice almost everything for that.
“I’m not your father or mine. I don’t hurt innocents.”
“I know that. I know you’re not like them. You think you’re a bad person, but I know that you’re my hero.”
He shook his head, but she didn’t let him speak.
“And the reason I was sitting here instead of getting changed is because I’d just realized that I was going to have to bare a whole lot of skin. And I was trying to think of the last time I’d worn something that didn’t completely cover me. Well, other than when I was Nyx, obviously. And I was thinking about why that was.”
He tilted his head. “I assumed this was your style.”
“Looking like a sack of potatoes?” she asked dryly.
Regent flipped her over onto his lap and landed five hard smacks on her ass.
“Hey!” she cried as he turned her back over. “That hurt!”
“That wasn’t a real spanking. Just a warning. Do not speak badly about yourself.”
It had sure felt like a real spanking. And now that the initial pain and shock had worn off, she found herself pressing her thighs together as her clit beat in time with the throb in her bottom.
Still, she didn’t think she wanted to experience what he considered to be a ‘real spanking’.
“My father used to insist we dress like this. After he died, Mama’s style changed. It became brighter. She wore shorts and tight tops. And . . . I’m just wondering why I didn’t change.”