Total pages in book: 53
Estimated words: 51003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 255(@200wpm)___ 204(@250wpm)___ 170(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51003 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 255(@200wpm)___ 204(@250wpm)___ 170(@300wpm)
The guy seemed to realize that because his eyes finally started to sparkle. “Do you have a preference on dessert? We can easily provide brownies, cookies, or fruit. But no one ever picks the fruit so don’t worry about picking something healthy to make him happy.”
Weirdest fucking date ever.
“Um.” Okay. Dessert. I could do this. “Brownies, please.”
If no one else picked fruit I wasn’t going to feel bad about it.
“Do you like bottled water, juice, or noncaffeinated sodas?” He shrugged before I could even open my mouth. “They won’t let me stock booze or caffeine.”
That wasn’t surprising at all.
The only side-eye he’d given me at dinner had been when I’d ordered tea, but he hadn’t tried to tell me no. I had to admit he’d been happier once I’d switched to water later after our food had arrived, though.
“Water, please.” I had to resist the urge to explain I wasn’t little because some of his options seemed geared toward them. “Thank you for your help.”
Human helper.
God.
“Do you have any allergies to latex or lubricants?” His question had my eyes going wide but he didn’t back down. “We had one allergic reaction with someone who’d never used any lube before. So now I have to ask and we also need to have the info on file just in case the ambulance has to show up again.”
Fuck.
“You don’t want these guys worried about your health.” Human helper dude was just as stubborn as they were. “And you’d be surprised at how angry the ambulance guys get when you just shrug and keep saying you don’t know why the cute twink stopped breathing.”
“I really don’t like how much logic there is in this conversation.” I could see Saint getting confused, but I had to stick to the discussion with human helper guy first. “No allergies to latex or any lube. No known allergies that would send me into anaphylactic shock.”
I knew there’d be something else…there was no way that was the weirdest topic.
I hated being right.
“Everyone in the building understands the stoplight system of safewords and you will be shocked at how good their hearing is.” The way he rolled his eyes said there was a story there. “We’ve never had an issue with consent but language issues are a thing. So if you say red in a loud voice several someones will come running.”
I thought that was all until he kept going. “I’m also required to inform you that you need to connect the dots on that. If you scream out an orgasm, everyone will hear that too. There’s only so much sound dampening insulation can do for aliens.”
Fuck.
“And if you have sex in the pool everyone is going to watch.” He shrugged like he couldn’t control that and wasn’t even going to try. “They like education in all forms. But someone will end up asking about why you’re willing to be shown off.”
Good grief.
I was starting to understand why Saint had been so stressed about the whole exhibitionism part of our fascinating discussions.
“Communication is important. I should’ve realized that.” Human helper dude was back to trying not to grin as he nodded.
He clearly liked his job.
“Thank you for pointing that out.” I could officially say I’d never had a date like my one with Saint. “Anything else?”
His brows pulled together. “I don’t think so. This process is fairly new. Mr. Saint?”
Saint gave him a proud parent smile. “You have articulated all the necessary points. Thank you for being diligent.”
The human helper couldn’t seem to decide if he wanted to grin or roll his eyes again, but he nodded. “Thank you.”
“Have a good night.” I wasn’t sure what else to say when Saint lifted me up in his limbs and started carrying me toward the elevators.
Random shit was taking up way too much of my brain.
“Why do you need a human to point out fairly obvious things to the dates who come visit?” They didn’t really do hookups and I wasn’t sure what the mate word he kept using actually meant outside of romance novels, but the question made sense to him, so I tried not to overthink it.
“Once more human mates started coming to this building and our residences—humans have many words for the space they primarily live—we ran into…situations.” He was definitely downplaying the issues, but since nearly any problems with them were accidental and kind of weird, I wasn’t worried.
“It was decided that someone who understood human social dynamics should be brought in.” Saint’s wiggly reaction made me think he was conflicted about it in some way. “We have a schedule of helper humans who have been trained to look for unexpected communication difficulties.”
Like pointing out that if people had sex in the pool other people were going to watch.
Seemed logical to me, but then again, I’d have been one of the people to watch too.