Total pages in book: 72
Estimated words: 66074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 66074 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 330(@200wpm)___ 264(@250wpm)___ 220(@300wpm)
I nod. “Yes. Please. I’d really like that.”
He gives me a half-smile before he begins. “I knew Seth for many years before you two Quill girls came into our world. And while he’s always been the funny, goofy, good-natured person we all know and love, there was also this… damaged part of him before he met you. He’s always been a highly skilled Dominant who’s a stickler for the rules of this lifestyle, never breaking the trust of those who submitted to him. But inside, Sadist was the Dominant role he most identified as. And he had to be selective with the subs he played with, in order to be sure they were highly masochistic and wanted his level of sadism. But you healed that part of him, so he no longer feels the needs of a sadist, at least not nearly as strongly.”
I shift in my seat, not really hearing the last sentence he said, unable to control the jealousy I feel when I allow myself to think about my husband’s former submissives. When we first got together, the sole thing I cared about was making sure I would be his one and only. He’s the head trainer at the club, after all, where his style of teaching was always very hands-on before he met me.
My main concern was that he’d want to continue with that same teaching approach, even while being in a relationship with me. I feared he would say yes to subs who propositioned him to play for the first time, to experience submitting to a literal Master, or that he’d agree if former students and partners wanted to have another go. He’d always been a single man with no long-term sexual partners, so I didn’t know if he wanted or even had the ability to be in a monogamous relationship.
I made it clear that I didn’t have it in me to share him, so if he wanted to be with me, I needed him to be faithful. I needed to be the only woman in his life, the only one he’d ever touch, kiss… love.
I thought it would be a big ask.
To my surprise, it’s exactly what he wanted, and he craved the same thing from me. Although I thought it was silly he even thought I might someday allow, or even want, another man to touch me. I was a twenty-four-year-old virgin who finally found the one man I wanted to give myself to. Him. No one else would ever come close.
“Are you all right?” Doc asks, pulling my eyes up to meet his laser-blue ones watching me closely.
I blush again, but this time from shame. “I know it’s immature, but I get jealous when I think about his previous partners. Ignore me.” I wave off my emotions, but he surprises me by asking another question instead of continuing his story.
“Your feelings should never be ignored, Twy. Every emotion you feel is valid. So will you explain what you experience where Seven’s past subs are concerned?”
I smile inside, remembering Astrid saying something very similar when I got here earlier. Another example of how Doc is always rubbing off on her in a positive way.
“My jealousy, possessiveness, whatever you want to call it, ever since we established our monogamous relationship undoubtedly comes from my self-doubt in being a good submissive. I can’t help begrudging his former subs, because nothing could ever make me believe any of them were as terrible at it as I am. They were all incredibly sexy and confident, I’m sure, knowing exactly how to please this… professional Dom, the owner of the exclusive establishment they were deemed worthy enough to be members of. They were vetted, hand-picked, given a very hard-earned seal of approval. But I, on the other hand, was basically just… grandfathered in. He wanted me in, so even if I’m unworthy of being there, I still get in the door.” I cringe.
I’ve never been one to feel so self-deprecating. I’ve always been a confident person, because I always excelled at what was important to me. My studies, my career as a chemical engineer, and being a good, loving little sister. But all of that disappeared the moment we crossed the California state line. Well, except the loving little sister part. Gone were my studies. Gone was my chosen career path I had been so passionate about. And instead, I did what was necessary to survive and keep Astrid safe. Which I have zero regrets about. I just… lost myself in the process.
“Okay, again, coming to you as your husband’s best friend, I need to let you in on something. Once I do that, then we can address what’s personally going on with you and hopefully be able to start working on fixing it,” Doc tells me, and I nod, then lean forward in the chair, both anxious and excited to hear what he has to say.