Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100661 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100661 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Silence. “Courtney?”
“Not Courtney.”
“Who?”
“This girl named Mabel Buckley. It was a one-time thing the night of Footsie’s wedding.”
“So you did more than just take her out onto the balcony.”
“Yeah.”
My older brother exhaled. “Well, first I’m going to say what you said to me when I told you Ellie was pregnant.”
“What did I say?”
“You said dude. That was it. A one-word text.”
“Yeah, well, the rest of the thought was, ‘Dude, how could you be so fucking stupid?’ But now I know.”
“Now you know. So what happened?”
“Condom broke.”
“Damn. So she got in touch with you?”
“Yeah. She drove down here over the weekend to tell me. She lives in Cherry Tree Harbor.”
“Is she related to Dashiel Buckley?”
“His sister. He probably wants to kick my ass right about now.”
“Nah, he’s not the type.” Gianni paused. “How does she feel?”
“She’s okay. She wants to have the baby and raise it on her own up there where all her family and friends are. She said she doesn’t expect anything from me.”
Silence. “Not how Courtney would have reacted.”
“Nope.”
“So how do you feel?”
“I don’t know. It’s like—” I got off the couch and wandered over to the windows, where darkness pressed against the glass. “I was really glad when she didn’t get mad or start issuing demands, but when she said I didn’t have to be involved, it kinda felt like a punch in the gut.”
“You want to be involved?”
“I don’t want any of this, but if she’s going to give birth to my kid, I want him to know who his dad is.”
“So he gets your name and that’s it?”
“I didn’t say that,” I said defensively. “I’m going to help support them. I’m not abandoning them.”
“You better not. Otherwise you won’t have to worry about Dashiel kicking your ass, because it will be Dad coming after you. I remember how he came at me when Ellie and I weren’t sure what we wanted to do. He’s big on taking responsibility. Family first and all that.”
“But you guys were different,” I argued. “You were friends. I barely know Mabel. And she said flat out she doesn’t want to get married.”
“Ellie said the same thing.”
“You guys were different,” I repeated. “Mabel and I are not going to be together. And Dad will just have to get used to it.”
“Okay, so what advice do you want from me? Sounds like you’ve already decided how you’re going to handle this.”
“I don’t know.” I rolled my shoulders, trying to ease some of the tension in my neck. “Tell me how to be an accidental dad, I guess.”
“You just show up, Joey. That’s what you do. You show up.”
I looked out at the city, glittering at my feet. “But I’m not even there. I can’t be there. My life and career are here, and it requires all my time and energy. I’m at the top of my game right now, and I need to stay there. I’ve worked too hard to let it all just fizzle out.”
“So show up when you can. Let her know she’s not alone. You can’t be that guy who just sends a check. That guy’s an asshole.”
“He is,” I agreed through a clenched jaw.
“And you’re a cocky son of a bitch, but you’re not an asshole.”
“Thanks.” Maybe that was why I called him. I needed someone to tell me I wasn’t the bad guy.
Gianni was quiet for a moment. “You’ll figure it out, Joe. I did. And you know what? Once that baby is born, you won’t believe there was ever a time you didn’t want to be a father.”
I thought about that but still wasn’t sure he was right. “There’s this ultrasound appointment coming up. Do you think I should go?”
“If you can. I remember Ellie’s first one. I was scared shitless. And I felt like I didn’t belong there, like I wasn’t sure what my place was. But that was when it really hit me—I was going to be a father. Everything changed for me that day.”
But I didn’t want anything to change. That was the problem. I closed my eyes and swallowed hard.
“And Joe?”
“Yeah?”
“Take a video. You’ll want it later.”
I would?
I couldn’t imagine why I’d want to record an ultrasound—wasn’t it just a sort of livestream of Mabel’s uterus?—but I decided to go to the appointment, if I could make it work with my schedule. If Gianni had done it, I could do it.
I wasn’t about to be bested by my brother.
But scared shitless was spot-on. As I opened the door to the room where Mabel was waiting, I was sweating buckets. My stomach was churning. My mind knew I was doing the right thing, but my gut was telling me to run in the other direction.
Mabel took one look at me over her shoulder and hiccuped.
I couldn’t help smiling. “Uh-oh. I didn’t bring a lemon with me.”