Total pages in book: 103
Estimated words: 100661 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 100661 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 503(@200wpm)___ 403(@250wpm)___ 336(@300wpm)
I hit a button to raise the shades, and for a few minutes, I just lay there while the morning sun warmed the room. Then I reached for my phone.
I’d gotten a text from Mabel about fifteen minutes ago.
Everything is all set. The tech was able to move the appointment back one hour so you could “be there,” and Ari will be with me to FaceTime you on my phone. You won’t miss a thing. How crazy is it that today we will know if this baby is a boy or a girl???
It was crazy there was a baby at all, but finding out whether it was a boy or a girl was going to make it very, very real. When I could think of the baby as an avocado or a peach or a fig growing in Mabel’s belly, it was easier to keep the fear from swallowing me whole. But in a couple hours, it wouldn’t just be an abstract idea sized like a piece of fruit.
It would be a boy or a girl.
A son or a daughter.
Thanks for moving the appointment. I’ll see you soon. Are you nervous?
JOE.
Immediately, I panicked.
What’s wrong? Are you okay?
I just felt the baby move.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Then I smiled.
What did it feel like?
A tiny little thump. I wasn’t even sure that’s what it was so I just stayed completely still until I felt it again. It was the cutest thing ever.
So was it a kick?
Probably. I think that’s what you feel first are kicks. Later I’ll be able to feel elbow jabs and rolling around. Things will get tight.
That does not sound comfortable.
Lol not much about pregnancy is. I’m heading to work but I’ll see you at 2:00 your time! I’m so excited!
I liked her message, set my phone aside, and rolled out of bed so I wouldn’t be late for morning skate. As I made my way to the bathroom, I rubbed my shoulder, which had been bothering me this week. In fact, after practice, I had an appointment with the physical therapist.
After that, I’d have a few hours of rest before the pre-game meal, which was when I’d come home and jump on FaceTime so I could see the ultrasound happening in real time.
I hadn’t told anyone here about the baby yet—not my coaches or teammates or the media relations people. I knew I’d have to do it pretty soon, but I was putting it off because I didn’t want to deal with the gossip that would follow. I was afraid Mabel would be hunted down and harassed, and there would be rumors and speculation about the two of us.
After Thanksgiving, I’d let the appropriate people know and explain the situation. I’d do whatever they advised in order to keep the chatter to a minimum and Mabel out of the public eye.
I didn’t give a fuck what random people said about me, but I wanted to protect her.
“Okay, you guys ready?” the ultrasound tech asked. It was a different one this time, but the room looked the same.
“I’m ready,” Mabel said from where she lay on the table. She looked at the phone in Ari’s hand and smiled. “You ready in Chicago?”
“I’m ready,” I said, wiping a sweaty palm on my pants.
The camera swung to the monitor, and at first all I saw was the same ghostly static I’d seen before.
Then I lost my breath.
Because right there on the screen was the shape of an actual baby’s head and spine. I’d seen pictures of these scans before—my brothers and sister had sent them—but it was so different knowing it was actually my child in there. I could see its nose. Its chin. And then suddenly a hand, as if the baby had pressed its palm right up against the camera.
I got chills.
“Oh, look at that.” The tech laughed. “Someone wants to say hello.”
I heard Mabel laugh too. “Hi baby,” she said. “I can’t wait to meet you.”
My throat tightened. I tried to swallow the tension away, but I couldn’t. It slid and expanded, moving down into my chest and squeezing my heart. The tech continued talking, and I heard things about the arms and legs, the brain and heart, the kidneys and bladder and lungs. Everything was good, but I still couldn’t breathe right.
“Okay, so as for other anatomy, do you want to know what you’re having?” the tech asked.
“Yes,” said Mabel.
“Do you want me to tell you now or are you planning any sort of reveal event where you and family all find out at once?”
“You can tell us now,” Mabel replied, while I briefly wondered what the hell a reveal event was.
“Okay, let me just . . . ope!” The tech laughed. “There we are. It’s a boy!”
A boy. That little hand belonged to my son. Those tiny arms and legs, that little nose, that flickering heart. The tech clicked something that made the graph pop up and turned on the sound, and I heard it again—the wondrous beating.