Total pages in book: 94
Estimated words: 88936 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 88936 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 445(@200wpm)___ 356(@250wpm)___ 296(@300wpm)
Some hurts were too deep. This was one that had been a part of me all my life. It was like finally looking under the bed to confront the monster hiding there—or at least, that was how I was looking at it.
My dad was currently in prison. When Blaise Hughes had handed over Merce to the Feds and all the proof they needed that he was the one behind the distribution of the laced drugs, Merce had listed everyone who had been involved. Merce’s father had been innocent in it all, but his reelection was going to take a hit. The family seemed happy about that and already knew who they intended to take his place. Although I was sure it was Merce who told the college about my sitting in on classes and writing papers for money, along with the illegal gambling ring and the pool hall he hadn’t tried to lie and include me in his drug trafficking. He did hand over my dad but there had been plenty proof of his involvement.
Grams was happily back in Haven House with her own suite. I visited her daily. I never had to worry about her well-being when I wasn’t there anymore.
“If you change your mind, we leave. Your choice, Ace,” Sebastian said beside me.
He’d been wonderful through all this.
I took a deep breath. “I’m ready. This is a door I need to close.”
He pressed a kiss to my temple. “Then, let’s do this,” he agreed.
Let’s. Us. I was part of an us. I wasn’t alone anymore.
He stepped up and opened the door to the restaurant, not letting my hand go. I walked inside, and he stayed close to my side. The warmth from his body was reassuring. I’d not relied on anyone since my Grams had started losing her memory. Now, I wondered how I had ever managed.
After I had told Sebastian I wanted to do this, I had also asked to see the picture he had of her. He had a couple. She had aged well, but she was no longer the younger woman in the only photo I’d seen of her.
Sebastian led me toward the far back right of the dining room, telling the server we were meeting someone when she asked if we would like a table.
I recognized Jill’s face from the photos as she stood up slowly. Her eyes were locked on me, and the emotion in her expression almost sent me turning and running out. She didn’t get to look at me like that. Like she cared. Like she … she felt something.
Sebastian’s hand tightened on mine again, as if he knew what I was thinking. If I left, he’d not question it and handle everything. But he had gone to all this trouble, and I was here. There was no turning back.
When we reached the table, no words came to me. What did I say to her? Why hadn’t I thought this out more? Planned this moment in my head?
“Jill,” Sebastian said in greeting. “I’m Sebastian Shephard. We spoke on the phone.” He turned to me then. “And this is Royal.”
The woman who had given birth to me stared at me anxiously. “You’re beautiful,” she said as a smile broke across her face.
Did I say thank you for that? No. That seemed stupid.
Finally, I pulled myself together and decided to treat her like I would any stranger.
“It’s nice to meet you, Jill,” I replied.
Sebastian pulled out a seat for me, and I took it as Jill sat back in hers.
“I was surprised when I got the call from, er, Sebastian,” she said with a small nod in his direction. “I’ve wanted to reach out to you, but I was scared that you’d reject me or that I’d cause drama in your life.”
Was she serious? Cause drama in my life?
I tensed, and Sebastian released my hand to lay his on my thigh. His calm reassurance helped.
“You lived with my dad. Do you truly think you could have made it any more difficult?” The question came out harsh, but I’d meant it to. She was the monster under my bed after all.
She tensed, and a pained look flashed in her eyes. “I guess … well, I hoped that Maude would make sure you had a good life.”
“She did,” I replied. “Grams is the best mom a girl could have. But she started forgetting things my senior year of high school. She has full-blown dementia now.”
Jill’s eyes widened. “Oh no,” she whispered. “I didn’t know. I’m so sorry. She was the only reason I thought I could stay there. But I was young and selfish. And Vinson made it difficult. I found out later—years later, in fact—that I’d been suffering from postpartum depression. I hadn’t known that was a thing or anything about it when I had you. But when I had Alvie, my son, I had a very bad case of it. The doctor diagnosed me and gave me medications to help. I knew then that was what had been wrong with me after you were born. I think … at least, I want to believe that if I had known that, I’d have stayed or taken you with me. No. I know I would have taken you with me. I was just scared that I couldn’t be a good mother. It was the postpartum doing that to me. I felt the same way with Alvie.”