Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 68270 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 68270 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 341(@200wpm)___ 273(@250wpm)___ 228(@300wpm)
“I can’t do it,” I say. “I won’t survive it.”
“But what if it’s different?” she asks. I know now that she didn’t come over for the school carnival or because she needed my help. Instead, she came over to hold my hand and make sure I was okay. It’s another reason I love the family; to them, I was family. To them, I was one of them, but to them, he was their everything.
“But what if it isn’t?” I say. “I can’t risk it. I won’t risk it. He’s back, and I have to make my peace with that,” I say, grabbing the tea and bringing the cup to my lips. “We are two adults. We can co-exist.”
“Do you think you can actually do that?” I look at her, thinking of my answer.
“I have no idea,” I say. “He made his choice five years ago. I get to make my choice now.”
“Good,” she says. “The best time to meet the bull head-on is to do it wearing red.” I laugh, thinking about how she tries to country almost everything. “Tomorrow, he’s going to be at the barbecue and so will you.”
“Oh, I’m not going to be there,” I say. “I’m not doing that.”
“Well, I have a message for you.” I listen to her as she sips her own tea. “From Billy.”
“Oh, dear,” I say, putting down the cup of tea.
“If you aren’t there tomorrow, he’s coming to get you.” She smiles. “And from that, you can assume that all of them will follow since he isn’t allowed to strain himself.”
“Oh, god.” Closing my eyes, I know there is no getting out of this. “Fine. I’ll call Jenna.”
“Good. Now …” She sits next to me. “Let’s go over some things for the carnival.”
We spend a good three hours making sure we have everything in place, and when she leaves, I’m really excited about the carnival in two weeks. I make more notes while I watch television, and the loom and gloom of the barbecue hanging over my head means that sleep doesn’t come easy.
I finally give up at dawn and get up. Making my coffee, I walk outside and take a seat on the porch to watch the sunrise. When I put the cup in the sink and walk to my bedroom, my stomach is in my throat. My heart is beating so fast that I have to sit several times while I get ready. I’ve changed at least forty times by the time Jenna yells that she is here and end up sliding on the white shorts that I feel most comfortable in. I roll the hem just a bit, making my long tan legs look even tanner. Grabbing a blue and white striped button-down shirt, I slip it on, then roll the sleeves up to my elbows and tie the front in a knot. I slip on my brown flip-flops, and I’m about to tie my hair when I hear a whistle behind me.
“God, I wish I had your legs,” she says, and I shake my head. “You ready?”
“Nope,” I say honestly. “Not even close, but we are going to go,” I say. “I’m going to smile and laugh, eat good food, and then I’ll come home and hopefully not throw up.”
“Well, that sounds like a banging time. We should rush over there,” she says, making me laugh. “Brett says he is going to meet us there.” I don’t say anything, and when I get into her truck, and we get there, the barbecue is already bustling. We have to park out onto the road because all the trucks are already there.
“It’s crazy how many people come every single weekend,” I say when we walk onto the grass and toward the backyard. There are four barbecues every week; the men take turns. I spot the teenagers all the way at the back, trying to play soccer. I make a quick scan of the backyard, and I don’t see him. My heart, on the other hand, doesn’t care and still picks up speed. “I might have to have one of Billy’s sweet teas.” I lean over to tell Jenna, and she just laughs.
“Sweet tea, my ass,” she says. “That shit made me do things I never thought I would do.” She grimaces.
“I don’t want to know or for you to tell me,” I say as we make our way over to Billy and Charlotte, who are greeting everyone. “Hey there,” I say, giving her a big hug and then hugging Billy. “Smells amazing.”
“It’s nice to have you,” Billy says. “Although I was hoping I would have to come and get you, and she would let me out of her sight.” He motions to Charlotte with his head, and she wraps her arms around his waist.
“I’ll never let you out of my sight.” She smiles at him, and he just leans down and kisses her.