Total pages in book: 210
Estimated words: 200837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1004(@200wpm)___ 803(@250wpm)___ 669(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 200837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1004(@200wpm)___ 803(@250wpm)___ 669(@300wpm)
“Would ya? I mean, people think that way, Clara, but most of the time, when presented with a situation as out of control as that, most people surrender. Almost no one plays the hero. So before ya give up on him entirely and condemn him to a dark place in your heart, never to be heard or seen again, ya might just cut the man a break, ya know?”
“I do. I get it. And, to be honest, that whole time I was sitting in the health center I was imagining what I would say if I ever saw him again.”
“What would you say?”
“Well, I’d apologize, obviously.”
“Why obviously?”
“Oh”—I laugh, and my smile is big—“I threw a fit, Tyse.” I lower my chin and give him a serious, steely stare. “Absolute fit. I cursed him, and called him names, I think.”
“You don’t remember?”
“I was so mad. I just lost it.”
“And now?”
“Well, first, I’m embarrassed about that. But more importantly, I know for sure that he had no choice. And it was the right call.”
“How do ya know that?”
“Because when I got within a certain distance of the door, it pulled me in. I didn’t walk through of my own accord.”
“Why’s that matter again? Maybe you told me, but I forgot.”
“Because he said if he didn’t send me in, the god would take the Maidens-in-Waiting—which is just Gemna now—and then all the Little Sisters too.”
“These little sisters are…? Relations?”
“No. Pledges. Prospective Maidens. And there were seventy-five of them. So if Finn had refused we all would’ve died.”
Tyse was leaning forward, his arms on the table, as this conversation played out. But now he leans back. “It’s a logical assumption that he was right based on the pulling you described. But that don’t make it a fact, Clara. Not that it matters. You should just think a little more critically. Sometimes things aren’t that simple.”
I don’t know what to say to that, so I say nothing.
He’s staring at me. Hard. But not in a mean way. A new way, maybe. He’s not unwilling to give Finn the benefit of the doubt, but he’s not gonna give him a pass.
And he doesn’t want me to, either.
That’s why he just said that.
Suddenly, everything becomes too much and all the new things I’ve just experienced start catching up. My whole body goes hot, especially my face, and then I feel tears forming. Because I’m overwhelmed, and sad, and sorry, and stuck. So I don’t want to talk anymore.
Luckily, our waitress comes up to the table with one of those screens in her hands. “What can I get for you tonight, folks?”
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Iturn to the waitress and order for both of us. Clara doesn’t object, even though I have no idea what she eats. She’s not thinking about food. She gives no fucks about what I order. She’s trying not to cry and that’s the only reason I take control like this. To give her an out. Just a few seconds to pull herself together.
When the waitress leaves and I once again look at Clara, she’s wrestled that control back. But she’s smaller now. Her shoulders are tucked forward, her hands in her lap. Like she’s trying to withdraw into herself.
I decide to change the subject. “Would you like for me to put you up in a hotel?”
“What?” She’s surprised by my question.
“So ya don’t have to stay in the tower with me.”
Her whole face crinkles up and I don’t know her well enough to determine if it’s confusion or frustration. But then, suddenly, like a switch has been flipped, all those wrinkles smooth out and she takes a breath. “That won’t be necessary. If you don’t want me to stay with you, I can take it from here.”
“No, ya can’t.”
“What?”
I laugh. “You’ve got no chance at all of taking it from here, Clara. I mean, you’d pull through, I’m sure of that. But it would take weeks, maybe months, for you to sort it all out and find a way forward.”
She huffs. “I don’t understand what you’re getting at.”
“Yes, ya do. Just think about it for a moment. Would you like a hotel?”
Again, I get that crinkled face and I decide it’s… annoyance. She’s annoyed at me because I’m gonna make her say something here, and she doesn’t want to.
“Would you like to stay in the city by yourself?”
Now she gets it. Because her crinkles become furrows and this is anger. “Why are you being a dick?”
“Because it’s not up to me, it’s up to you. And you’re letting me make a lot of big decisions for you right now. It’s really not my place. I’m only playing along because I’ve got no choice.”
She scoffs, places her hands on the table, and makes to get up.
I reach out and grab her wrist. “Sit down. It’s a stupid question. A really stupid question. And we both already know the answer. So why can’t you just spit it out?”