Total pages in book: 210
Estimated words: 200837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1004(@200wpm)___ 803(@250wpm)___ 669(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 200837 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1004(@200wpm)___ 803(@250wpm)___ 669(@300wpm)
But it’s no use. Even from here—mere steps away—there is nothing to see but black.
Sometimes the Maidens will look over their shoulder one final time before they step through, but not Haryet Chettle. She is afraid, but not scared. And I find, though it is the worst time to realize this, that I respect Haryet’s resolve and I wish I’d taken the time to know her better. Because she is someone worth knowing.
It is in this same moment of realization that the clocktower bell reaches twelve gongs and Haryet Chettle steps across the threshold of the God’s Tower.
All Spark Maidens display when they walk through the doors and Haryet is no different.
She glows bright blue like she’s made of spark itself.
I stand there, unable to process it. What happens here on this stage isn’t natural. It’s not right. But I’ve seen it so many times and it’s such a part of my life that I can’t imagine a world where a god in a tower at the top of your city doesn’t steal women.
Then she’s gone.
And the moment she disappears, the bells stop ringing.
If we, the people of Tau City, are a line so bright, then what comes after the bells stop ringing is a silence so loud.
“Finn?” Clara has been saying my name since we left, but I have not answered her. “Finn, talk to me. Please.”
She’s gripping my hand so tight I want to shake it off, but I find that I cannot let go. So instead, I just say nothing as the elevator doors open. We step in. Turn. Face the doors. And without comment, the liftman takes us up to the dome.
When the doors open we exit into the hallway, walk the short distance to the doors of the actual palace, and then I open them and wave her in.
This is the first time I’ve looked her in the eyes. I expect her to start back in, asking questions and trying to get answers out of me. But she must see something unfamiliar in my eyes when she looks back, because she doesn’t even try. Just walks forward with a swish of her elaborate silk and linen gown.
And it’s funny, I think. Well, not funny, actually. But… weird. Because I predicted this. The change in me. I knew I would be someone else after Haryet.
How could I not?
I step in after Clara, close the doors, and as she turns to look at me, I have an almost uncontrollable urge to be inside her.
She doesn’t say anything. Just stares at me with bloodshot eyes, and downturned mouth, and… disappointment, I think.
I don’t like to see her sad, of course. But the part about this look that stings is the disappointment. It feels like an accusation of failure.
I have so many things to say about this look she’s giving me. I want to explain that it’s out of my control, that I have no real power here, and anyway, isn’t this what Haryet signed up for? Isn’t this what they all signed up for? In exchange for pretty dresses, and luxurious quarters, and being invited to the best parties to rub shoulders with Tau City’s most influential people, they promised to walk through those tower doors if the god called them in.
Not only that, they promised to do it as poised, proper, polite ladies.
I have to hand it to Haryet. In the end, she did her part. She tipped her chin up, squared her shoulders, and marched through those doors determined to… to save people. To save Clara.
And I know that Clara isn’t privy to Haryet’s last words—we haven’t had a chance to discuss it yet—but that’s what we would be discussing if she wasn’t looking me in the eyes accusing me of failure.
I’m angry about this look she’s giving me. It’s not fair, I understand this, but I’m pissed. I don’t want to be here. Unlike her, and all the other Spark Maidens, I didn’t choose this path. I was born into it.
The sudden urge to yell at her—this woman that I love so dearly, and want so completely, and will never have a future with—the sudden urge to blame her for all of it is almost overwhelming. This impulse is so strong, I actually open my mouth to start the fight.
But in that same moment, Clara sighs. Tears spill out of her eyes and roll down her cheeks. She bows her head, breaking eye contact, to hide these tears, but then they just slide off her face and fall to the floor.
Get a hold of yourself, Finn. She’s sad, and scared, and lost. She doesn’t need a lecture right now, even if she does blame you.
Which is exactly what Mitchell would say to me, if he were here. And it’s truly the best advice, even if it is only coming from my own inner voice.