Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 35534 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 178(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35534 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 178(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
I have to get that man to see me as more than a girl. I know his body sees me as more, but I need his mind to catch up. I think it’s working. He was hard for me. He kissed me back too. All of those things have to mean something. Unable to control myself any longer, I pull out my phone to text Reed.
Me: Movie night! I stopped at the bakery before class and got chocolate dipped everything. I’ll share.
I add a kiss emoji before I hit send.
Reed: I’m sorry, Tin. Something came up. I have to go out of town for a few days.
Disappointment hits me like a Mack truck. Did he regret letting me sleep in his bed last night? Have I pushed him too far and made him feel uncomfortable? My stomach sinks at that thought. I would never want him to feel that way. Crap. I stare at my phone trying to come up with a response.
I can’t think of one so I tab out. Instead, I text Carly and give her a rundown of what happened. I feel pathetic. I was throwing myself at him. What other choice does he really have? I know when it comes to me Reed is sweet. That he’d do anything for me. I’m like his little sister. My eyes sting with tears.
I grab my bag, slipping out the back of the classroom. I never miss classes, but with my mind racing, it’s as if I’m not there anyway. Missing the second half of my last one for the day won’t kill me. When I get outside I stand there, unsure of where to go. My phone rings in my hand before I can make a decision.
“Hey,” I answer seeing Carly’s number.
“You okay?” Carly asks.
“Not really,” I admit. Even with how embarrassing this is, I manage to tell Carly because we tell each other everything.
“Don’t get down on yourself.” I wipe a tear that escapes. I need to come to terms with the fact that Reed and I won’t be together. That he doesn’t have the same feelings for me that I do for him. I know that he’ll continue to be good to me and maybe even compromise what he wants to make me happy. But I can’t let him do that.
He’s a great friend to me. I wish I could keep him there and that it was enough, but I can’t help how I feel. I don’t think my heart can bear the constant disappointment of knowing he’ll never be mine. I know I’ll never get over him if I’m seeing him all the time.
“It’s hard not to.” I start walking.
“He might be freaked out. I still think the man is in love with you. I don’t care what you say. I’ve seen the way he looks at you. Last night he got to see that you have the same feelings. Maybe he’s running scared.” I snort a humorless laugh.
“Yes, that’s just what a girl wants to hear. That the man she loves is running scared from her.”
“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”
“I can’t chase him. It’s one thing to try and show him that I want him and another to downright chase after him. I can’t do it.” I’m not that girl. It will hurt me to walk away, but I won’t beg him to be with me. The only reason I’ve gone this far is because I thought maybe he had those same feelings. That it might have been something more than a physical attraction.
“You’re right. You shouldn't have to chase any man. That means we move to Plan B.” Oh no. There is another plan? I’m almost afraid to hear what Carly has up her sleeve now.
“Plan B?”
“Yes, it has worked wonders for women since the beginning of time.”
“Okay, what is this wonderful plan of yours?”
“Ignore him. Be busy. Pretend you don’t have the time of day for him.”
“What?” How can avoiding him make him see me in a different light?
“I’m telling you. You gotta trust me here.” He’s not here now so it will be easy to start this plan. Reed never talks unless I speak to him. I have to pull stuff out of him. I have to make an extra effort to see him outside of dinner. Maybe this will work.
“Okay.” I agree. I think the plan is silly. Yet I know that I’m going to go through with it anyway. I quickly convince myself that I’m doing it to start to create some space between Reed and me. That this distancing will be the first step. The second will be moving out.
“This is going to be awesome.” Carly lets out a fake evil laugh that sends her into a coughing fit.
“Did you just choke on your own spit?” I don’t hide my own laughter at her expense.