Total pages in book: 38
Estimated words: 35534 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 178(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 35534 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 178(@200wpm)___ 142(@250wpm)___ 118(@300wpm)
Things are finally coming together. Reed loves me, and that’s all that matters at the end of the day. It’s funny how easily things can change. I touch my neck where I see a small love bite. They are pepped all over my breasts too. He couldn't keep his mouth off me. It felt like he was marking me.
I grab my cell phone as I head toward the kitchen to go through the pizza takeout menus. I settle on the place around the corner, knowing they’ll be fast and they have my favorite white pie. I call in my order and while I’m at it I order a mix of a few things.
I enjoy having a variety of things to pick from. When they ask about dessert, I can’t help but get that too. Who doesn’t want fresh zeppoles? I ask for extra powdered sugar. My mouth waters thinking about all the doughy goodness. Maybe I should eat those first. Reed is going to tease me when he sees how much food I ordered.
Where is that man, anyway? I head back down the hallway toward his office. It’s where he spends most of his time when he’s home. I’ll be changing that soon. That man works too much. He needs to relax more. Enjoy his life a little bit. Maybe even go on a vacation. But I’ll ease him toward that. I don’t think it will take much. We’re in love. Everything else should be easy.
“It’s not what you think.” I stop walking when I hear Reed’s voice. Who is he talking to? I peek around the door to see he has his phone pressed to his ear. He’s pacing back and forth. He runs his hand through his hair in frustration. “I am keeping her safe.”
I can’t hear the responses of the person that he’s talking to, but I can see the worried look on Reed’s face. His whole body is tense. My stomach knots.
“Sir, I assure you that I haven’t taken advantage of her. I would never do that to her. She asked me to help her, John, and that’s exactly what I’m doing. There isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for her.”
My nails dig into the trim on the door. The pain I feel from his words almost has my knees buckling. He’d do anything to help me. I’m not sure why I’m so hurt. Isn’t that what I asked him to do? To help me get over what had happened to me? To chase my fears away? Too bad my biggest fear of all is him not being mine.
I don’t want him to be mine out of some warped need to protect me. He doesn’t really want me. He may love me but not in the way I love him. I can’t even be mad at him. He did exactly what I asked him to do. But I thought things had changed in the mix of everything. That he saw me in a new light. Not the little girl who needs protecting. I guess I’ll always be that to him.
I step back, not wanting to hear anymore. My eyes burn with tears. My stomach turns. I have to get out of here. I can’t let him see me like this. It would make him feel horrible. It’s not his fault. I grab my bag by the front door before hitting the button for the elevator. I call Carly. Thank God she is finally here.
I put my hand to my mouth as I step onto the elevator, knowing everything is about to change. I could stay. Keep him. He’d be mine physically, but I’ll never own the part of him I want more than anything else. I bet he would even marry me. Give me everything I could ever ask for. But you can’t ask someone to love you. Not in this way.
He’ll always see me as the girl scared of her own shadow. Maybe I am. Or maybe I put myself out there knowing I could fall. And now I have.
My finger hovers over the button. I don’t want to leave, but I have no choice. I have to leave for him too. He’s always trying to do right by me. Now it’s my turn to do right by him. To set him free. To relieve him of this need he has to protect me.
“Tinsley. Babe.” I hear him call me. I push the button. He rounds the corner. His eyes lock with mine as the door starts to close. His whole face changes. He knows I’m leaving. Really leaving. “Tinsley!” He runs towards me. The doors close on him. The whole elevator shakes when I hear him pound on the doors before it starts to descend.
I take deep breaths as the nausea eats at me. I wipe the tears from my eyes when the doors finally open. I make myself move, knowing I have to get space between him and me. I’m not strong enough. If he gets ahold of me I’d crack. I’d beg him to keep me, knowing he would. I can’t let that happen. It wouldn’t be fair to either of us.