Total pages in book: 138
Estimated words: 128260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 128260 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 641(@200wpm)___ 513(@250wpm)___ 428(@300wpm)
He popped it open, took a drink, and said, “So tell me about your classes.”
I took a long drink of my tea. “Actually, Dad, I have something to talk to you about,” I said nervously.
“Oh yeah?” he asked, eyeing me.
“Yes.” I took a deep breath. “The thing is, I changed my law focus.” I took another gulp of tea.
When I lowered my glass, my dad was staring at me seriously. “Okay. What’d you change it to?”
“Well, I know how you feel about the criminal court system. I know you have a lot of experience—”
“Gracie, spit it out.”
“I decided that I want to work in the prosecutor’s office.” I set my glass on the side table and played with the hem of my sweater. Silence. After a couple seconds, I raised my lashes and looked at my dad. He had a small frown on his face and his lips were pursed. My heart sunk. I had worked my whole life to avoid that look, my whole life. I almost took it back, right then and there. I almost spit out just kidding! But then for some reason, Carson’s face appeared in my head, smiling, encouraging me with that look I’d memorized. I knew it was my own mind conjuring his image, but it comforted me anyway, spurred me on. Be brave, Grace.
“Gracie, you have no idea the things I’ve seen, the side of humanity you’ll see if you get into criminal law. I know our family has had our share of heartbreak, Grace. But I want to protect you from more of that. Corporate law—”
“You can’t protect me from heartbreak, Dad,” I said softly. And maybe we’d all tried too hard to do just that. There were consequences to exposing yourself to potential pain. But there were also consequences to ignoring your own wishes toward that effort. I’d recently learned that very lesson.
My dad tapped the bottom of his beer can on the armrest. “You don’t make any money working in the DA’s office,” he tried. “Corporate law is a good, safe field of law, you’ll make a great salary, and you won’t take your work home with you every day of your life. You won’t see all those victims faces when you lay your head down at night.”
I looked down, frowned, took a deep breath, and met my dad’s eyes again. “The thing is, I’m tired of being safe all the time,” I said. “I’m tired of doing things because they make sense for everyone else except me.” My voice hitched on the last word and my eyes swam. I looked down, unable to keep eye contact.
My dad sighed and then was silent for long minutes. Finally he said, “I only ever wanted my girls to be happy. You think this is going to make you happy, then that’s all I need. I just never wanted you to be jaded and bitter, like your old man.”
I let out a short laugh and then sniffled, my tears mixing with my laughter. “You’re not jaded and bitter.”
He sighed. “In some ways, yeah I am. I accept that. And, Gracie, I’m sorry I never made it clear to you that your happiness is important to me. You stepped right in and started taking care of this family when your mom left. I saw it and I let you do it, and that probably wasn’t fair to you.”
“No, Dad,” I said quickly, shaking my head, “I wanted to do that. It made me feel like I was helping to make things better for everyone. Better for you.”
“You were, darlin’, but I should have made that more my job than yours. It was too much pressure for a kid. And you always put enough pressure on yourself as it was. Go make yourself happy, Gracie. Live your dream. Take care of others like you’ve always taken care of us. You’re damn good at it.”
I let out another little sob and launched myself at him, almost tipping that damn flower-covered recliner right over. My dad wasn’t big on physical affection, but I just couldn’t contain myself in that moment. I loved my dad so much. It was like a ten-ton weight had been lifted off my chest. And as it turned out, I had been the one who had let it sit there all that time. I hugged him tightly, and after a minute, he wrapped his arms around me too, and we sat like that for a while, me whispering, “Thank you, Dad,” in his ear.
“What the HELL are you doing to my dad?” I heard screeched from the living room doorway. I sat up and laughed.
“I’m hugging him, you nutjob,” I said to my sister Julia, smiling and getting up.
She was grinning too. “Hi, big sis,” she said, hugging me to her and squeezing me tight. What my dad lacked in shows of physical affection, us girls made up for, at least with each other. We were each other’s anchors, each other’s comfort.