Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 21966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 21966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
“I told him the three of us would meet and discuss how best to put the past behind us and do what we need to do to make things easier for Lennon.”
“Fuck that. I don’t want the past behind me, Katie. I want my brother fucking gone,” I growl.
“Jake—”
“Don’t start, Katie. You aren’t in my shoes. You don’t see what I do.”
She just stares at me. I hate yelling—despise coming at her with all this stuff because I know she’s dealing with a lot. Still, she won’t let it go and I’ve got too much bottled up inside of me to hold back.
“What do you see?” she asks, her voice soft.
“I look at my brother and I see a man who lied to my face while planning to take everything that should have been mine. Everything that…”
“Finish it, Jake. Admit you blame me for bringing your brother into this. Admit that you resent me.”
“Fuck, Katie, I don’t. It’s not you I blame. Hell, I don’t even blame him for loving you. I mean, look at you. You’re beautiful. You steal my fucking breath.”
“Jake—”
“It’s not just that, though. You are just as spectacular on the inside. You have a heart the size of Texas, giving love like most people breathe. It just comes naturally. I can’t be next to you without getting caught up in your pull. My brother saw that from day one. That’s why he couldn’t stay away. I knew it back then and it irritated the hell out of me. Still, you were mine, so I ignored it. I knew you would never go there with him. It was me you loved.”
“So, you are blaming me,” she answers.
“No, damn it!”
“Jake, you need to explain this to me. I know we’ve always had problems communicating, but we have to change that—if only for our son’s sake.”
“I blame me!” I snap. “I’m the one who couldn’t give you what you needed. I’m the one who hurt you so much that you didn’t feel safe in telling me about my child. I’m the reason you were alone and had to rely on my brother. It’s my fault that my own son hates me!”
“Lennon doesn’t hate you, Jake. He’s just confused and hurting.”
“That’s easy for you to say, babe, but I’ve seen the anger in him when he’s around me. Hell, I hear it in his voice when he talks to me, or gee, when he tells me he hates me.”
“Lennon doesn’t hate you. Honey, he’s a kid. They’re just over emotional.”
“I wouldn’t know. I’ve never been around kids. My son is a stranger to me.”
“That’s why we need to sit down with Jeff and present a united front.”
“I don’t want him around my family, Katie.”
“But he is your family, sweetheart. He’s your brother. You said you don’t blame him or me—”
“I don’t blame him for loving you, Katie. I most assuredly blame the asshole for lying to me. It’s because of him I lost four years with my son. Four years, Katie.”
“You lost seven years with your son, Jake. I was responsible for all of those if you want to get technical. Why would you want to have a relationship with me if you’re going to hold that much anger inside?”
“Because I forced you to do it. I didn’t force Jeff to keep the truth from me, Katie. I made it impossible for you to talk to me.”
“Jake?”
“I want to build a future with you. With you and Lennon. I want the family that we should have always had.”
Her words cause my heart to stutter in my chest.
“Katie…”
“I love you, Jake. I’ve never truly stopped loving you. You haven’t left my side. You tell me you want me—”
“Fuck,” I hiss, closing the distance between us.
I go down on my knees in front of her, reaching up to frame her face with my hands. “You love me…”
“You’ve always been it for me, Jake. I’m willing to do whatever I need to do to make it work this time.”
“Baby,” I breathe, leaning so that my forehead is against hers. I drink in her words, letting them simmer inside of me.
“I need you to help me. We’re all to blame here, Jake. Me, you, and Jeff. We’re all three to blame for the mess around us.”
I know she’s right. I understand what she’s getting at. She wants me to let go of the past and the rage that I have aimed at my brother. I would do anything for Katie. I would. This might prove impossible, though.
“I’m not sure I’m strong enough to give you this, Sunshine.”
“That’s where you’re wrong. You’re the strongest man I know. You can do anything.”
“You sound so positive.”
“That’s because I am. You made me feel safe to admit I love you. You made me believe that together we can make this work. If I’m wrong and you don’t want me, Jake—”