Total pages in book: 23
Estimated words: 21966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 21966 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 110(@200wpm)___ 88(@250wpm)___ 73(@300wpm)
“Answer me, Jeff.” My heart squeezes in my chest. I don’t know how I feel. I’m so confused. I need Jeff to tell me he did it and Jake is lying. Yet, at the same time, I’m hoping that Jake is telling me the truth.
“Wow,” he whispers. “You said you loved me, Katie. Is that love so easily forgotten?”
“That’s rich coming from a man who ran away and didn’t even check on me when I almost died.”
“Maybe Jake didn’t tell me you were sick. You ever think of that?”
“Jake didn’t want to tell you,” I admit.
“I bet he didn’t,” he laughs, but there’s no humor in the sound. Then again, there’s nothing funny about any of this.
“But Barb called you, and I know she did.”
“I didn’t get the message until two days ago.”
“Yeah, right. You live with your phone, Jeff.”
“I haven’t for a while. After the mess at the wedding, I just needed a break from everything. I’ve been driving and figuring out what I wanted.”
“Yeah,” I’m not sure what else to say.
“Yeah?” he repeats. “What does that mean?”
“It’s just that you’ve laid all this at my feet, Jeff, but what about you? You wanted to marry me, but you disappeared without a word. You wouldn’t accept calls. You cut me out of your life. Now, you show up like you’re the wronged party, but that’s not exactly true, is it?”
“What do you mean?”
“I mean, I finally believe a Ryan brother completely—at least about one thing.”
“And what would that be, Katie?”
“You didn’t tell Jake. You lied to me knowing I would trust you implicitly, and you didn’t tell Jake anything. You let me believe that Jake knew all this time and just didn’t care. You cheated my son out of years with his father. You knew how guilty I felt, how I couldn’t move on until the slate was clean, and yet, you made it worse.”
The words are thick on my tongue, weighted down and full of pain. Betrayal burns bitterly in my gut. The one man I would have sworn would never lie to me—never willingly betray me—did so much more than that. He betrayed my son.
I’m not blameless. I know that. I should have told Jake from the beginning. I should have handled everything differently…
“Fuck, Katie. What do you want from me? I fell in love with you the minute I first laid eyes on you, and you never knew I was alive.”
“Jeff—”
“Day after fucking day, I had to watch you kissing my brother, worshipping every damn thing he did. You barely gave me the time of day.”
“Jeff…”
“You won’t believe me, but I had every intention to tell my brother he was Lennon’s father. I went to him to let him know everything.”
“Then why didn’t you?”
“When I got there, he was drunk off his ass with some woman in his bed, and he didn’t even know her name,” Jeff growls, rubbing the back of his head and mussing his hair. His words hurt. I struggle to keep the pain hidden. Jake and I weren’t together. It shouldn’t bother me, but I’ve always loved him, so it does bother me. “I stood there looking at the brother I barely recognized, and I just knew.”
“Knew what?”
“I knew he didn’t want Lennon. You knew it, too. That’s why you didn’t tell him in the first place. I looked at him, hung over, having spent the night with some woman he didn’t even know, and I realized I had to protect you and Lennon.”
“That wasn’t your decision to make.”
“Damn it, Katie. I saw the writing on the wall. Once more, my damn brother was going to waltz in and wreck your life, leaving you broken. I couldn’t let that happen again. I loved you too much then to let it happen, and I would do it all the same again because I still love you enough to want to keep you safe from my brother’s bullshit. I’m not going to apologize for that.”
“That’s not how love works, Jeff. You can’t shield me from life and take away my right to make my own choices.”
“Bullshit. You protect Lennon from pain and bust your ass to make sure he just tastes the good in life.”
“Lennon is my child, Jeff. I’m an adult, and I don’t want someone making decisions that I need to be the one to make.”
“C’mon, Katie. You could barely mention Jake’s name without the pain bubbling up inside of you. You know it and I know it. That’s the only reason you were okay with me telling him in the first place. Do you really think you could have walked in on what I did and told my brother about Lennon? Do you think you could have survived finding Jake like that at all?”
His questions burn deep enough that I can picture images in my mind that I don’t want to see. Tears sting my eyes and I do my best to hold them back.