Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 133213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 666(@200wpm)___ 533(@250wpm)___ 444(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 666(@200wpm)___ 533(@250wpm)___ 444(@300wpm)
Tris huffed. “Of course I didn’t.”
“I think the relationship he wants is with you, Aidan,” Carys said, a hard look in her eyes.
“Oh, yeah. We’re getting to the good stuff,” Kala said and then frowned and took the glasses off. “Damn. Adam’s excellent. Guess I should take notes.”
Tristan looked his way and mouthed thanks. Then he turned to Carys. “I’ve tried so hard to maintain some kind of tie to you. I honestly believed if you thought I was in real danger you would ride in like a fucking Valkyrie to try to save me. I knew Aidan wouldn’t because Aidan would understand his job was protecting and sheltering you. I’ll be honest. If I had to do it all over again, I would have talked to you because I now know I was fooling myself.”
Carys’s index finger came out. “Don’t you fucking dare put this on me. So it’s my fault because I didn’t what? Get on a plane and try to force you to come home? Because I asked. I asked and asked, and then one day I stopped fucking asking because I knew the answer. Don’t rewrite history.”
“All right, I won’t. I was at fault,” Tris conceded. “But please, Carys, please yell at me. Punch me. Fight with me. Fight for us. Don’t walk away like I mean nothing. You might not understand why I did what I did, but do you truly believe I did it to hurt you?”
“I think you didn’t think about me at all,” Carys replied, her tone going hollow.
Tristan started to move toward her but stopped. “There isn’t a day in my life I didn’t think about you. Not a day I can remember anyway. Every day I’ve lived had you and Aidan in it.”
Carys’s arms crossed over her chest. “Were you or were you not willing to give us up? You said you would be honest with me.”
“In my darker moments, yes,” Tris admitted. “When I facilitated the sale of a hundred fully automatic assault rifles to a separatist in a small African country and two weeks later the whole place broke out in a bloody civil war, I thought I didn’t fucking deserve you. When I looked at the blood on my hands after I killed a man in São Paulo because he’d taken a picture of me and meant to out me as The Jester, I thought there was no way I could ever touch you with those hands again. So yes, Carys, there were times I thought it would be best for both of you if I died.”
What he was saying made sense to Aidan. “It’s why you stood there completely open to the helicopter on our wedding day. Everyone else hid, but you didn’t care.”
“I knew if I died making sure the two of you were safe, I would never have to admit how far I’d fallen.” Tris seemed to falter but kept on. “How much of my soul I’d given away. I know it sounds stupid, but I thought I could fix things. I thought I could be a hero like my dads.”
“Your dads got kicked out of the Army because they slept with the wrong person,” Kala pointed out quietly. She stood up and slid her cell into her pocket. “Our parents are human. Don’t ever tell him I said this but my father is the greatest man I know, and he’s fucked up things on monumental levels. Don’t put them on pedestals, Tris. Don’t put anyone on a pedestal because it hurts so fucking much when they inevitably fall off. And I thank my dad for telling me all the ways he screwed up because he made it okay for me to screw up. Somehow I don’t think any of your parents told you they could only love you if you were perfect, if you never made a mistake. That’s what’s wrong with all three of you motherfuckers. You had it easy. Now it’s hard. You either love each other and you’re willing to risk it all again, or you’re over and then guys, get ready to know what it means to be fucking alone because what you had was epic. You’re never going to find it again. But hey, I know a dude at a shelter. Dogs and cats are great companions, and when they fuck up, well, it can get messy but not as messy as this. Since you ruined our viewing pleasure, I think I will head down to the bar. It’s too hard to watch you disintegrate.”
“I knew they hadn’t meant to leave the Army when they did,” Tris said quietly. “They didn’t hide it from me. I still think they’re heroes.”
“I didn’t know about how rough it was when my parents met, but I still think they’re the best love story I know.” Carys sniffled. “I don’t know what to do. I’m angry and I’m not sure how to not be angry anymore.”