Total pages in book: 141
Estimated words: 133213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 666(@200wpm)___ 533(@250wpm)___ 444(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133213 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 666(@200wpm)___ 533(@250wpm)___ 444(@300wpm)
“I’m a pretty good actress,” she replied.
“You’re not.” Naturally Tris wanted to argue. “You’re a terrible liar, and Aidan’s right. He’s even worse than you are, which is precisely why this is such a terrible idea.”
Aidan’s head shook. “I’m not arguing tonight. It’s getting late, and it’s been a fucking awful day. Carys, will you let me sleep with you?”
The idea of going to bed alone made her ache. He was right. It had been terrible, and the best thing in the world would be to wrap herself around him and sleep. “No.”
She couldn’t do it. Not yet.
He nodded as though he’d expected her answer. “Then Tris, you can take first watch. Wake me in a couple of hours.”
Aidan strode out, and it took everything she had not to go after him, to shove all this anger aside and hold him. If she did, she would cry all over again and still not get what she needed. She was a ball of stress, and not the kind she was used to. Carys could be perfectly cool under pressure. She could shut it all down and concentrate on her patient, but there was no patient. There was only her and Aidan and Tristan. There was only the rest of her lonely life if she couldn’t figure this out.
She was fairly sure she couldn’t figure this out unless she went to Canada. Unless she finally faced whatever had taken Tristan from them. “You think I’m such a terrible actress I can’t pretend I still love him? I don’t have to pretend. I do love him. The question is can I trust him?”
Tristan moved into her space, and she immediately felt her body heat up. “No, the question is do the two of you work without me.”
She wasn’t about to back down. “We’ve worked for two and a half years without you.”
“Have you?” He loomed over her. Tristan had a good half a foot on her, and his body had gone from lanky boy to muscular man in the last couple of years.
She wished she didn’t want to get her hands on him, to explore the changes in the body she’d loved so much. The afternoon had done nothing but stimulate an appetite she’d hoped she’d outgrown.
Shouldn’t Aidan be enough for her? Shouldn’t she be enough for him? Why couldn’t she be normal and make this work like other people did? Like her parents. And almost everyone she knew. Except Tris’s parents. And some of her friends’ parents.
She couldn’t let Tris see her weakness. “We’ve been fine.”
“I don’t think so, baby. The fact that you fell apart so quickly lets me know the truth. You are not an unforgiving woman, Car. When you think about it, you’re going to understand. I tried to talk to you but you refused.”
“You wanted me to be your secret,” she pointed out. “It’s not the same. You were sending me cards and gifts as a placeholder. You weren’t trying to let me know what was going on. You didn’t keep me in the loop the way you did Aidan.”
“You want to know why?”
She didn’t need an explanation. “I’m sure you were trying to protect the little woman.”
Tris groaned. “Little woman? I wasn’t afraid you would fall apart. I was terrified you would try to save me. I was scared you would ride in like the Taggart woman you are. You talk about how you’re the sensible one and you’re the reasonable one in your family. Your family has Kala and Kenzie in it. Of fucking course you’re the reasonable one. Anyone is reasonable compared to your wild-ass cousins. I don’t know if you’ve given this any thought, but you’re not exactly a shrinking violet. What happened when we got called out as a threesome in high school?”
She and Tris had gone to the same high school while Aidan had been at one across the city. It had been fairly easy for a while to keep their threesome status from their classmates. For several years, everyone thought Tris was her boyfriend and Aidan was a guy they saw occasionally because their parents were friendly. And then they’d been outed.
She hadn’t ever cared. “I told the ones who called me a whore to bite my ass. They were jealous I had two hot boyfriends and was living the dream.”
“And where did you say it, Car?”
“Fine. I said it over the loudspeakers because I wanted everyone to hear it,” she admitted, remembering the day fondly. She’d gotten serious detention, and they wouldn’t let her do morning announcements ever again, but it had been worth it. None of this meant she should be left out of a deep and important part of his life. It had been far easier when she thought she hadn’t been the only one left out.
“Yeah, I’m talking to that woman right now. I was scared you would decide it was too dangerous for me and you would show up in the middle of an arms deal,” he said with a shake of his head. “I talked to Aidan because I knew he would stand down. I needed him, Carys. I needed someone to ground me because I couldn’t talk to my team.”