Total pages in book: 98
Estimated words: 114647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 573(@200wpm)___ 459(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114647 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 573(@200wpm)___ 459(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
During those times, I want you to take a step back, and analyze the situation. I want you to notice, not only with your eyes, but also with all your other senses, the root of the situation. I want you to be aware. I want you to be prepared. And I want you to be forgiving.
The world can use more forgiveness.
I’ve learned those things too late in life to put them to use, but you, my bright, young daughter, have the whole world ahead of you. You can do anything you want to. Be anything you want to be.
Although I’m gone, I will never stray far from your side. I will forever be watching you, holding you up in times of need, laughing with you when you see a funny movie, and holding your hand when you need to just cry.
It tears my heart in two that you are going to marry someday, and I won’t be there to witness it. That I won’t have that opportunity to walk you down the aisle. However, someday, you will find that perfect someone, and you will make a life with him. You will have children of your own someday and only then will you know the feeling of your heart walking around outside your body.
Only then will you know that it takes compassion and sacrifice to get to where you want to be, be who you want to be.
Remember to always follow the Golden Rule- Treat others the way you wish to be treated.
Lastly, do not forget that I love you. I will always be proud of you, and I will never think that you are anything less than perfect.
Always put your trust in God, because he will never steer you wrong.
Love, Daddy.
I found myself burying my head into Shiloh’s neck, trying my hardest to stem the flow of tears, but it didn’t work.
That man, Dougie, was one of the best men in the world, and it still made my heart ache each and every day to think about him not being here. To see his daughter bloom into a beautiful young woman. To know that he won’t ever be there to witness her accomplishments.
However, to this day, I still remember the last thing that Dougie ever said to me.
Ride like the wind. Know what it feels like to be free. That’s where I’ll be.
***
“James!” Shiloh yelled from the kitchen.
“What?” I yelled back, not getting up from my recliner in the basement.
My haven.
My vacation from the estrogen factory.
I’d declared it mine about five years after Scout was born.
I loved the shit out of the women in my life, but about eight years of dealing with endless girl shit, I declared the basement a girl free zone. This was my territory. A place where I could leave my shit around, cuss, spill my beer without cleaning it up, and watch a cop show without my girls bitching about missing Project fucking Runway.
Shiloh showed at the top of the stairs a few moments later.
She was in a pair of extremely short pajama shorts, and an old SWAT t-shirt of mine.
My blood heated at the sight of her. She was even more beautiful now than she was when I met her all those years ago.
“Kayla went to go visit Dougie.” She said.
My eyes watched the play of emotions that came and went on my wife’s face. “When?”
I knew she’d go. I just hadn’t expected her to do it on her graduation night.
“She left about five minutes ago.” Shiloh explained.
Sighing, I stood up, grabbed the t-shirt that was laying on the back of the recliner, and tugged it on over my head. Walking up the stairs, I gave Shiloh a peck on the lips and a smack on the ass as I passed, and walked through the back door and out into the night.
It wasn’t until I was passing the damn thing that I realized that Kayla and Kayla’s car were still in the driveway.
She was sitting in the driver’s seat with her head resting on the steering wheel. Her hair was still curly from her graduation ceremony, covering her face from my view.
I stopped next to the door, opened it, and crouched down. “What’s wrong, pretty girl?”
Kayla’s eyes met mine, and I realized she was crying.
I knew why, too. It didn’t take a genius. Today was a big day for her. It was life changing. And life changing events make you realize what you do and don’t have any longer.
“I miss my dad.” She sniffled.
Knowing what she needed, I stood and offered my hand.
“You want to go visit him?” I asked, looking into her watery eyes.
She nodded, handed me her keys, which I pocketed, and followed me to the bike.
An hour later, I heard Kayla’s hesitant voice in my ear. “Not that I don’t love riding with you, but we’re not going the right way. The cemetery’s that way.” She said, pointing in the opposite direction.
Before I answered, I pulled over, wanting to explain a little better without the distraction of road noise before we continued.
I didn’t turn around though. Instead, I stared out at the sun setting low in the sky. The pink, orange, and bluish hues of the sky making the perfect backdrop for what I had in mind.
“I don’t think of your dad being buried in that cemetery. That’s not really where he’s at. Sure, that’s where his remains are, but I feel him the most when I’m out riding. Remembering the laughter in his voice when he told a stupid joke. Remembering how much he loved you, and bragged about you when you were a little girl. The way he protected us during our missions. The way he treated his mother like a queen.”
“That why you don’t visit the grave anymore, J?” Kayla whispered, leaning her head against my back.
“I visit. I just don’t want anybody watching when I water my beard, so I go alone.” I teased.
Kayla snorted. “Show me more of my dad.”
So I did, telling old goofy stories of him through the headset built in to the helmet.