Total pages in book: 75
Estimated words: 72362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 72362 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 362(@200wpm)___ 289(@250wpm)___ 241(@300wpm)
“Yeah. But do you bite?”
“No. Why? What have you heard?”
No laughter. He’s still too busy hesitating.
“Let’s start with the basics.” I stand beside him and offer him my hand. He stares at it for a moment. Then he takes it in a gentle grip, and I smile. “This is how we walk over there, right?”
“Right.”
“What else will we be doing?”
He thinks it over for a second. “Hanging out, talking to people. Eating, drinking, stuff like that.”
“Sitting or standing?”
“Could be either.”
“What did you and your ex used to do?”
He releases my hand, moves closer, and carefully drapes his arm across my shoulders. The weight of the limb settles slowly, with him watching me all the while. It takes approximately forever for his hand to brush against my bare shoulder. For his fingers to rest lightly against my skin. I am not saying I hold my breath in case he startles. But it’s a near thing.
“What should I be doing?” I ask.
“Slip your arm around my waist.”
I do as asked. His long body is stiff as a board. Stone would be more malleable. Though it’s distracting how good he smells. Even better than the flowers. It’s the same cedar and salt cologne from the car the other night. Something inside me hums happily. My willpower is hard-pressed to restrain me from giving him a good sniffing. Which would not be strange at all.
“Connor, do you mind if I lean into you a little?”
He nods.
With the high heels, I come about halfway up his head. This should work. Though thank fuck we’re doing this in private the first time. Because fitting my side to his takes a minute. I angle my shoulder this way and that. I cock my hip and bend my knee and try to position myself just so. No amount of yoga could prepare me for this. Aerial acrobatics would be easier. I try going limp as a noddle. An upright noodle. Then I cling to him like plastic wrap, which is terrible for the environment. But nothing feels right, and he remains as rigid as can be.
“This is not going great,” he grumbles in the same low voice.
“We just need to get used to each other.”
He takes a deep breath. “She used to put her hand in the back pocket of my jeans.”
“Would you be comfortable with me doing that?”
His gaze meets mine and oof. There’s a world of worry in his eyes. A mess of misery. Of course, he’s stressed about seeing his ex for the first time. I’ve had my heart battered and bruised. It’s not pleasant. But moving on from someone you’ve been with for half your life must be a whole new level of pain.
“This is just…”
I wait for him to finish.
“Normally when I’m touching someone there isn’t this much heavy thinking. You know what I mean?”
“It’s awkward, isn’t it?”
He nods.
“Why don’t we give it a rest for now?”
The tension in his jaw eases, but the unhappiness in his gaze remains the same. He’s deep in his angst. Were he a statue, he would be titled stoic but would secretly rather die than do whatever this is. And in all honesty, I am pissed on his behalf for having to carry out this charade. Fake dating isn’t necessarily as fun as you’d think.
“Are you sure this is what you want, Connor?”
His head jerks up. “What do you mean?”
“I know you said there was no chance of you two getting back together. But this doesn’t exactly seem to be making you happy either. Maybe if you told me what happened between you two…”
His scowl would scare small children.
“Or not. It is, of course, your choice.”
The front windows must have hurt his feelings something awful, given the way he glares at them. And the uncomfortable moment drags on for a good long while. Until finally he says, “Last Christmas when she was home I asked her to marry me.”
“Wow. Okay. And I take it she said no?”
“There I was, down on one knee like an idiot, and she looked at the ring like it was something out of a horror movie.”
“I am so sorry, Connor.”
“No.” He shakes his head and shoves an agitated hand through his hair. “You don’t understand. The second that word came out of her mouth I was so fucking relieved.”
“Oh.”
“She was standing there crying, making all these excuses, and it was honestly like a weight had been lifted. I thought it was time. That getting married made sense. Then the words were out there and I knew it was the wrong thing to do.”
“Fair enough.” It’s a lot to take in. “If she said no, then why the hell is she back now all ready to fight for her man?”
“I don’t know. I don’t know what’s changed for her. But we don’t belong together, and we don’t make each other happy.” He gives me a half smile. “I just want to get on with my life, Riley. So please, tell me, how do we make this work?”