Total pages in book: 47
Estimated words: 46733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 46733 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 234(@200wpm)___ 187(@250wpm)___ 156(@300wpm)
Her words bolster me, my belly fluttering as if I can believe, for a brief moment, it’s going to work out. Never mind that Mila, herself, just said it may not.
You have to be sure, Banner writes. I care about you too much, want this too badly, for you to tell me something just because you think I want to hear it.
I’m not. I type quickly. I thought I was crazy, thinking all this stuff. I never thought you’d feel the same. But I want it, Banner. More than anything.
“What now?”
“Just trying to convince him,” I say quietly. “He’s like….”
The smile spreads warmly across my face, my cheeks aching with the warm glow of it as bright, positive feelings surge inside of me.
“It’s like he thinks it’s too good to be true, and he can’t believe it. Imagine that, Mila. He thinks I’m that special.”
“You are special,” Mila says.
I look at her closely.
There was something taut in her tone there, and then, I understood. She doesn’t need to say anything else when she gives me that look.
She’s telling me not to get overexcited. Not to become like one of the hyperactive puppies which occasionally come into the shelter until we have all the facts.
“I know anybody can send anything in a text,” I say. “But I also know he means this, Mila. Maybe you think that’s silly of me, but you haven’t experienced what I have. When we’re together…and even when we’re not together, it’s like I can become a different person. Or be the person I’ve always wished I was. Does that make sense?”
“Kind of,” she mutters. “I’ve never felt anything like that.”
My phone goes off again.
This is dangerous. I don’t know how we’re going to handle this. I don’t know how I’m going to be near you or look at you and not completely lose control. And not just with the intimate stuff…. It will be so hard not to kiss you hello, slow dance with you, or brush your messy hair aside.
Brooke, we have to tell your dad.
I reel back in the seat as the last line slams into me, hitting all the harsher for the warmth of the preceding lines.
But we can’t ruin the wedding, I send.
“What’s going on?” Mila mutters.
But then Banner texts back. He must be typing so fast.
I know. But it’ll be worse if he finds out in some other way. I’m not joking when I say I don’t think I can control myself.
“Brooke?”
I quickly fill Mila in, and she nods.
“What?” I ask. “You agree with him?”
“No, I mean…I get his point. You two are clearly crazy about each other.”
“If he’s not lying,” I say. “Right?”
Mila sighs. “I said that because I don’t want you to get your hopes up, that’s all.”
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snap.”
She waves a hand. “It’s okay. What are you going to say?”
“I don’t know,” I mutter, shaking my head slowly. “Obviously, I want Dad to know. But here? At the wedding?”
“Think about Mom, too,” Mila says quietly. “Straight up, I’ll support anything you decide. It’s your life. But I think it would really upset Mom.”
“Even more than if we waited then told them?”
“For Mom, definitely,” Mila says. “She never had a big wedding with my dad. She’s been looking forward to this, so excited, happier than I’ve ever seen her. I’m not sure about Gil, though.”
We can’t tell him here, I send. I want him to know, Banner. I don’t want to lie. But we can’t risk ruining the wedding. It just wouldn’t be fair.
I’d never tell him without your blessing, Banner replies. But how are we going to get through the next two days?
We have to try, I send. Tomorrow is the rehearsal. Then it’s the wedding. Then it’ll be the honeymoon. We can tell them when they get back. Imagine if we ruined their honeymoon for them.
I wouldn’t forgive myself for ruining any of it, he replies. I just think we should try and avoid each other, REALLY try this time. Otherwise, I’m telling you, it’s going to be so difficult to fight this need. It burns in me, Brooke. It makes it so I can’t think about anything or anybody else.
Only you. Just you. Forever.
I can’t stop myself from smiling as I sit back in my chair, his words making me feel like I’m floating.
“No need to share the specifics,” Mila says. “But I take it that was a good one?”
I’m not going to share it with her, but I nod. “Yes, it was. The best one.”
“I’m happy for you,” Mila says. “Despite everything, I am. I hope you know that.”
“I do,” I say.
I’m the same. I write quickly. I want it all, but it’s like you said, we have to be strong. If it means purposefully avoiding each other, fine, that’s what we have to do. We CAN do it.