Total pages in book: 142
Estimated words: 133849 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 669(@200wpm)___ 535(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 133849 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 669(@200wpm)___ 535(@250wpm)___ 446(@300wpm)
“You mean that.” She seemed to relax. “You would let me be part of your family. You would let me marry Grim and you would stand there and be my friend.”
“I would still love you, Nic. I’ll always love you, but I’ll be satisfied if you’re happy. If you’re whole.”
“But you wouldn’t be.” The words came out soft, almost sympathetic.
Was he about to lose her? “No. There will always be a part of me missing, but I’ll live with it.”
“I kissed Grim tonight.”
His whole body felt heavy. He knew he’d said what he’d said, and he meant it, but it was going to hurt more than anything he’d ever felt. His mind was already working on the problem. He might need to go on the road more. Maybe it would be easier to not watch them settle into the house he’d hoped to share with them. Maybe a couple of months away would ease the longing to something manageable.
“So I should kiss you, too,” she offered logically. “To be fair. I know it doesn’t have to be one for one, but there haven’t been a lot of kisses lately, and I don’t want you to feel left out.”
Then she was right in front of him, going up on her toes and pressing those sweet lips to his, and it was like the fucking world came back online. Like he’d spent the last few weeks in something colorless and drab and she touched him and the world was real again. Whole again.
His hands went down to grip her hips and drag her in closer, but he stopped.
He didn’t want to scare her, didn’t want to take something she wasn’t willing to give.
Nic sank down to her feet and frowned up at him. “You’re going to be like Grim, aren’t you?”
“Well, if it means you kiss me and let me stay in our bed, then yes, I suspect I’ll be a lot more like Grim,” he admitted.
Her expression softened. “I meant you’re going to treat me like I’m fragile. Like I’ll run away if you make a single mistake. That isn’t what I was trying to do, Josh. I’m not afraid you’ll hurt me physically. I’m starting to learn you won’t hurt me for anything. I’m starting to understand you are not my deceased husband, and your family is so far from the Holloways it’s ridiculous.”
“I can be rough,” he admitted.
“And I like it when you’re rough because even when you’re the big bad Dom in my life, you’re thinking about me. Not yourself. You’re thinking about my pleasure and my comfort and what I need. I’ve never been afraid you would hit me. Never.”
“Never,” Josh promised. “Never in any way not meant to bring you pleasure. Nicole, I love you. I want to take care of you. I want to have the kind of family I had growing up.”
“I know. It’s what I was afraid of,” Nicole admitted. “I didn’t understand your family and I thought I wouldn’t fit in, but I do. I thought this would all turn sour, and I know I haven’t been here long, but it’s not going to go bad, is it?”
Hope lit his whole soul. “No, baby. No one is going to turn on you. You have a family now. You have me and Grim and Olivia and my parents. You have our friends. Harlow adores you. The rest of our friends will, too.”
“And even if I made a misstep, you wouldn’t kick me out.”
“No. There is nothing you can do that would make me leave you.”
She frowned his way. “I can think of a few things.”
She didn’t understand him. “There is nothing you—Nicole Mason or Nora—could do. There is nothing your sweet soul could do that would make me run.”
“You’re taking a lot on faith, Joshua Barnes-Fleetwood.” She stood there looking so vulnerable. “I tell you I didn’t kill my husband and you believe me.”
“I believe you.”
“I could be lying,” she said softly.
“You’re not.” He knew it in his bones. She wasn’t lying about anything. She was exactly who she said she was. She was sweet and scared and tired of not being loved the way she should be. So he would give it to her. He and Grim would give her all the love she needed. “Stay with us. Be with us. Not physically if you’re not ready, but spend time with us. We’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you, too.” She moved into his arms, and he sighed as she wrapped herself around him. “I didn’t realize how much until tonight. I’ve been focusing on helping Kim with my case and learning from Harlow and your parents.”
“You needed time. It’s okay if you need more,” he whispered, holding her so close. “Please spend some time with us. Let us take you out. Show you how we feel.”