Total pages in book: 74
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71840 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 359(@200wpm)___ 287(@250wpm)___ 239(@300wpm)
“Because I’m supposed to see you as my savior?”
“No, because I took my punishment, and now it’s your turn.”
“There’s nothing to punish me for.”
“Lying to me, pretending you didn’t care. Taking me prisoner. You think those aren’t offenses.”
“Not when you….”
“When I what….”
Anguish threatened to crush me. “How was I supposed to know?”
He growled. “You were supposed to fucking feel it.”
He kissed me then, his lips slamming against mine, his tongue forcing my lips apart. I struggled against his hold, but not as hard as I could have. I could hurt him. I could stop this, but I wasn’t going to. I was way too far gone and all he’d done was kiss me.
He put a knee on either side of my legs, rising above me, forcing my head against the back of the couch to make me look up at him. “You want this.” I didn’t deny it, but I didn’t agree with him either. “How many times have you thought about me since I left?”
“I thought about how I would kill you many times.”
“Tell me you didn’t still want me, no matter what I’d done. Tell me you don’t still want me right now.”
“Are you planning to shoot me again?”
“No, but I’m not planning to be gentle with you either. I’m planning to punish you, make you beg, make you need me as much as I need you.”
I sucked in my breath. He didn’t really mean that. He was playing me. “What the fuck Matteo? You never needed me.”
“I needed you like I need air to breathe.”
God, could he be serious. “You could’ve told me.”
“Right. Like I was going to tell the cold, superior asshole I needed him that badly when he tried to say no every time I wanted to see him.”
“What we were doing could have gotten us both in trouble, and I knew I would end up getting hurt. I was right, wasn’t I?”
“You would see it that way.”
I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter how noble your decision was, I would rather have been told what was happening. I would rather have faced it myself. Not having to think that you didn’t care, that you wanted me dead.”
“If I’d wanted you dead, the shot would have killed you, and I sure as hell wouldn’t have helped you escape.”
“I know, but—”
“How do you think it felt for me to watch you lying there on the ground, bleeding? How do you think it felt to send you away and not know if you were going to survive? To not know if I’d miss calculated, if I’d hit something vital?”
“You gave me no reason to think you weren’t pleased. I had no reason to think you didn’t simply join the cartel. I thought you had been manipulating me, making me want you, making me think you wanted me.”
“You would have if you’d paid attention. If you’d actually listened to what I told you, to the way I worshipped you.”
“So I was supposed to just believe in you, even though you shot me and left with the enemy? Even though you were responsible for us having to pull our unit out?”
“No. Yes. Dammit I don’t know.” He kissed me again.
He wrapped a hand around my throat, pinning me back against the couch. I took hold of his hips and pulled him against me, needing to feel how hard he was for me. I needed him to be as insane as I was. I couldn’t stop a groan spilling from my mouth when I felt his hard length against mine.
“You like that, don’t you? You like feeling what you do to me? You make me hard as fuck, make me need you, make me willing to do anything to have you, to keep you safe. Do you get off on that, on knowing how much power you have over me?”
“I don’t….”
“Yes, you fucking do.”
He grabbed my wrists and dragged them back to the couch, pinning them in place as he kissed me again, his body rubbing against mine as he thrust his tongue into my mouth. I lost myself in the kiss. My cock was leaking so badly there was surely a wet spot on the front of my pants. I needed to release it. I needed more. I struggled against his hold. “I want you naked.”
“No, you don’t get that. You don’t get to touch me or see me or feel me thrusting deep into you until you tell me how you feel.”
I looked up at him, half dazed. “What?”
“You won’t get anything more from me, not my dick, not my ass, not my mouth or my tongue against your ass, until you tell me you want it. I need to hear you say it. I need the fucking truth.”
“No.”
“Yes. You’re going to confess it all to me, how you feel, that you trust me, that you won’t push me away again.”