Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 103124 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 103124 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 516(@200wpm)___ 412(@250wpm)___ 344(@300wpm)
I tie the tea towel around my hand. “Don’t you have something better to do than sit here and break my balls?”
Massimo stands and holds his hands up in surrender. But his smile is wicked because he’s loving this.
“If you leave it much longer, you might miss your chance at real happiness. It’s already been weeks.”
I feel my chest constrict.
“I did what she asked. I let her go.”
“But she’s worth chasing, no?”
“Of course she is,” I reply before I can stop myself.
“Then why the fuck haven’t you?”
“Because it fucking killed me to let her go to begin with,” I snap.
Massimo nods and moves to stand in front of me.
“If you love her, go and get her. Get on your knees. Beg her to come back.”
I raise an eyebrow at him. “I don’t beg. And I certainly don’t get on my knees for anyone.”
Massimo puts his big hand on my shoulders and gives me a pointed look. “Then be prepared to lose her for good.”
He leaves, and as he closes the door behind him, a prickly sensation crawls up my spine and spreads through my chest.
I hate how this feels.
Fuck.
44
Bella
“So you’re really heading back to London?” Imogen pulls a sad face.
“The car is on its way.” I zip my suitcase closed. “My flight leaves at six.”
“But why? There’s nothing left for you there since you lost your job. And why now? You haven’t seen Nico in three weeks.”
Hurt twists in my stomach.
She’s right. I haven’t seen or heard anything from him since I left.
I ran away.
But he didn’t try to stop me.
Not that I wanted him to.
Well, maybe a small part of me had hoped he would.
But it’s better that he didn’t.
Because now I can put it all behind me.
The Mafia.
The danger.
The great fucking sex.
Imogen chews on a twisted piece of red licorice. “They say you shouldn’t make huge decisions when you’re emotional.”
“I’m not emotional.”
“That’s what scares me.” She sits cross-legged on my bed. “You haven’t cried.”
Because if I start, I won’t fucking stop.
I yank my suitcase off the bed and sit down. “He said he loved me.”
Imogen’s eyes go round, and the red licorice twist is paused midair. “When?”
“The night before and the day I left.”
“And what did you say?”
“Nothing.”
Imogen looks at me like I just confessed to murder. “Oh, Bella.”
“Don’t oh, Bella me!” I stand up, hating that I feel this way. Hating that I miss him. Hating that I wish I was still living in his penthouse and pretending to hate him every day while we enjoy toe-curling, scream-inducing sex every night. “How was this going to work? He’s married to a life of crime, and I’m—”
“Lying your ass off to your best friend right now.” She stands and cups my shoulders. “Look me in the eye and tell me you don’t love him.”
I can’t say I don’t.
Because I do.
“He’s a don,” I whisper, as if whispering those words will make them less frightening.
“You were raised in the life.”
“Which cost me my mom and brothers.”
“Yes, that is why you have to be honest with yourself when you make this decision, and I don’t think you have been. Not truly. You won’t tell him you love him because you’re afraid of what loving him means. Fear. The Mafia. Always having a shadow. But Bella, just because you don’t say it, doesn’t mean you don’t feel it. Am I right?”
I nod, fighting tears.
I am smack bang in the middle of a love storm for Nico De Kysa.
I’m so crazy for him I can’t go a single minute without thinking about him.
But I need space from his eclipsing presence. And I can’t get my head straight while I’m in this city.
Everywhere I go, I’m reminded of what I have walked away from.
I made a good life for myself in London once before, maybe I can do it again.
Imogen gives me an empathetic look. “You have to decide which is more important, loving him and living with fear, or leaving him and living without love.”
She’s right.
Either way, there is a consequence.
And right now, I’m not sure which one is the fry pan and which one is the fire.
I pick up my bag. “Once I’ve taken care of some loose ends in London, I’ll reevaluate things.”
“I thought you packed up everything when you went back with Nico.”
“Yes, but I still have the apartment in London, and I figure staying there for a while will help me clear my head.”
“You’re running away,” she says flatly.
“Probably, but it feels right.”
The buzzer tells me my ride is here.
“I’ll come back,” I reassure her when she pouts. “When my head is clearer.”
With a reluctant look on her face, she pulls me in for a hug and squeezes tight. “You’d better. Or I’m coming over there and dragging you back by the thong.”
When I giggle, she kisses my cheek and releases me.