Total pages in book: 92
Estimated words: 89303 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 89303 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 447(@200wpm)___ 357(@250wpm)___ 298(@300wpm)
“Everything alright? You seem a little down.”
My eyes narrowed on his face, surprised that he picked up on that even though we didn’t know each other very well. “Just been a hard week. How are you?”
“No complaints. For the moment, I’m pretty hungry. Let’s grab some dinner.”
“I told you I’m seeing somebody…”
His eyes took in my face, the corner of his mouth rising subtly in a smile. “Based on that sadness in your eyes, I don’t think you’re seeing him anymore.” He stepped back and nodded to the door. “Come on, let’s get something good. I could go for a steak and a scotch.”
I stayed rooted to the spot, impressed that he could glean so much information from just a look. But maybe that was why he was a shark in the business world—because he didn’t miss anything. “Sure, why not?”
The big-ass grin he gave seemed genuine, like he’d finally gotten his prize after all his hard work. “Alright, sweetheart.” He opened the door for me. “Ready for that upgrade?”
Three
Dex
I’d be lying if I said I didn’t miss her.
I missed her like crazy.
But I didn’t miss her lips, her naked body in my bed, the way my sheets smelled like her. What I missed was the way her eyes lit up every time she looked at me, the way she would grab my arm and squeeze me to make sure I was real, the way she would ask about my day, listen to every word, be so invested in who I was as a person.
That was what I missed.
So, I didn’t go back to my old ways of fucking any woman who would have me.
I just…didn’t want to.
I was sad, really sad.
Why did it have to be this way? Why did I have to be so fucked up in the head? What if Sicily was the right one, and I was too broken to even realize it?
Daisy sat across from me, drinking her beer in silence, being unusually nice to me because she knew I was down. She stuck to topics about my work or her patients, mentioning Dad and Derek sometimes, steering clear of Sicily.
I appreciated that she didn’t give me shit about it.
We shared some appetizers and talked about a lot of nothing. She didn’t mention Mason.
I put food in my mouth without really tasting it, drank my beer without getting the hit from the alcohol. Just going through the motions, more depressed than I’d ever been. My ex-wife was getting remarried, and I’d lost the only woman who actually gave a damn about me. Fucking sad, man.
How did my life end up like this?
Daisy took a drink of her beer before she released a sigh. “Dex, I seriously can’t stand seeing you like this.” She addressed the elephant in the room, unable to be easygoing about the whole thing.
“That makes two of us, sis.”
She shook her head as she looked at me.
“Why do you think I don’t want you to get your heart broken? It fucking sucks. No, you don’t just bounce back from it like nothing happened. It takes time, a really long time.”
“I just don’t understand why you’re letting an old relationship ruin a new one. Sicily is the best.”
“I know.” I closed my eyes and inhaled a painful breath. “Trust me, I know. I miss her…a lot.”
“Then I don’t understand…”
“Because I’m literally empty inside, Daisy. I don’t want to be in a relationship again. I don’t want to ever feel anything again. And I sure as fuck never want to get married again.” I felt so much anger toward Catherine, unresolved rage. If I saw her in the flesh, I honestly didn’t know what I would do. I’d scream in her face until the veins in my neck popped. “I’m just…so angry, you know. I gave Catherine everything, literally everything, and then she does this to me. I loved her, really loved her, and I just can’t see myself feeling that way ever again. I’m not even going to try.”
“You’re not over her…” She released a sigh of disappointment.
I dropped my gaze, ashamed. “If you really love someone, you always love them. And if you ever stop, then you never loved them in the first place. I know I shouldn’t give a fuck about her after what she did to me, but it still hurts, and it should hurt. It’s only been a year and change. Who loves someone new within a year of a divorce? After being happily married? Nobody—unless they were never really happy in the first place. Well, I was happy. I was in that relationship fully, one hundred percent, would do anything for her. And then…” I shook my head. “I just haven’t been able to move on. If she cheated on me or betrayed me, I would have just let it go. But that’s not what happened, you know? This really traumatic and unusual circumstance hit us hard, and I can’t help but wonder if we’d still be together with a baby right now if that hadn’t happened. Yes, you can say that if Allen broke us, then we were never really strong in the first place, but I believe that nothing else would have broken us. We wouldn’t have been unfaithful. We wouldn’t have drifted apart. I believe that we would have stayed together forever if that had never happened. So how can anyone really expect me to be over that? How is she over it?”