Total pages in book: 112
Estimated words: 106839 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 106839 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 534(@200wpm)___ 427(@250wpm)___ 356(@300wpm)
“It stirred up all kinds of feelings, didn’t it?”
“Yeah. It didn’t give me hope, I am not interested in Erol. At all. But finding that note from him, well, it made me unconsciously reflect on how I might’ve jumped the gun back when I was young and it’s just kinda hittin’ me right now. How nothing about Erol’s disappearance made any sense and how I just wrote him out of my life and moved on. I feel a little ashamed about this.”
Amon pushes me back, holding me an arm’s length away. “Ashamed? No. Why would you feel ashamed?”
“Because I just assumed the worst. That he got scared and bailed out. And it turns out he didn’t bail. He didn’t leave me. I, in fact, left him. I didn’t even try and find him. I didn’t even call hospitals or anything, Amon.”
“You were fifteen, Rosie. And nine months pregnant. You had more than enough on your mind at the time. Maybe you should come with me today. I’ll go talk to Jim Bob and—”
“No.” I put up my hand to stop him. “I don’t wanna go. Revival is the most consistent thing in my life. I’m surrounded by family and friends, there’s nothing but uplifting messages, and it’s almost too pretty to be real. I can’t think of a better way to work out this sadness than to be here.”
Amon places a hand on my cheek and looks me straight in the eyes. “You did everything right, Rosie.” Then he leans in and presses his lips to mine. I keep my eyes open and so does he. Right until the very last moment and then I close them and let peace wash over me as this man claims my mouth like I belong to him.
Like this is was exactly how my life was meant to turn out.
When we pull back from the kiss we stay close. Pressing our foreheads together. I would like to linger in this moment forever. Just stay right here and let time stop.
Keep my boy, a boy.
Keep this new love, new.
Keep this life perfect.
But aside from being impractical, not to mention impossible, I don’t want to stop things here. There’s too much to look forward to. As much as I lament the growin’ up of my boy, I’m looking forward to it too. I want to see the man he becomes. I want him to fall in love and have his own family.
And this moment right here can’t even begin to compare to the ones coming my way if I just keep going.
Amon holds my face in his hands, looking me straight in the eyes. “You OK?”
I press my lips together and nod. “I am. I promise.”
“All right. I’ll pick you up at six and we’ll go bowling. I’ll have Cross with me. Don’t worry about him.”
I place my hand on his cheek now. “If he’s with you, there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.”
Then I leave him in the east gate parking lot and make my way to the garden tent to get ready for a day of tea parties.
When my day ends at six o’clock, after I change into my cut-offs and halter top, I find Amon and Cross waiting for me at the east gate. Seeing them together like this is something new. And by that, I mean a man with my child, picking me up from work like we’re some kind of family.
That has never happened to me before. Most of my dating life was fake. I told these tales to fit in with my twenty-something friends who were all focused on growing into adulthood, and starting their lives, and finding husbands.
And none of that applied to me. Did I want a husband? Well, sure. But finding one when you’ve already got a kid isn’t as easy as it sounds. Even if you’re a cute and perky Valerie Bertinelli twin. I tried to date after Cross was born, but none of the boys from school were interested in me. It scared them to think about babies, I think. And why wouldn’t it? I mean, it scared me too.
So once I turned eighteen, and got my Revival trust, I bought a car. I would drive down to Fayetteville and hang out in the pool hall there. Plenty of men were interested, but that was the whole problem. They were men, not boys. And even though I had a baby, I didn’t feel like a woman yet. I was looking for a sweetheart, not a one-night stand.
So I stopped really trying long before I was even old enough to legally drink. That’s when I started making the boyfriends up. There was a smattering of real dates too. Every now and then I’d get lonely and give it another go. But it was the same thing over and over. They liked me, but they didn’t want my baggage.