Total pages in book: 68
Estimated words: 67490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 67490 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 337(@200wpm)___ 270(@250wpm)___ 225(@300wpm)
Nobody argued with her, and they all got out of her way, unwilling to say a word.
Because she was right.
We were celebrating our aliveness.
So we did it in public.
Sue us.
We made it to the rental car counter with our luggage thirty minutes later, and only then did she turn to me and whisper her worries.
“I’d just like you to know that I’ve never, ever, ever done that before.” She spoke quietly. “This is the very first time I’ve slept with someone I haven’t been in a committed relationship with, ever.”
I looked down at her, curled my hand around her chin, and tilted her face up to me. “I’ll count myself lucky then.”
CHAPTER 7
I understand, but I also don’t care. So it works out.
-Text from Keene to Simi
KEENE
Gunshot wounds were the worst.
“This one looks like it’s all bluster,” Callister, our pseudo-medic, said. “I think it’ll be fine, but you need to get checked out the moment we get home.”
I gave him a thumbs up, and felt my wound pull.
Only when we were on the plane, a handful of scared as fuck children in the corner with a child psychologist talking to them, did I pull out my phone and text her.
It’d been four weeks since we’d seen each other, and in those four weeks, I’d only grown more and more fond of her.
Me: How are you?
We’d been texting since we’d parted ways, and I didn’t know if I even knew how to function without her witty humor and sweetness anymore.
We also talked on the phone every night if we could, but over the last four days that I’d been rescuing children from deviants who deserved to be mutilated and left for dead in the desert sun, I’d missed nearly every single one of her calls.
Since she didn’t immediately respond, I switched over to a text thread with my sisters and started talking.
Me: I met a girl.
Simi: Oh my God. Is she imaginary?
Me: No. Real flesh and blood.
Crimson: Winston told me that your phone has been glued to your hand. I hadn’t noticed. But I’m glad to know that my husband can notice this but can’t notice that the trash can needed emptied yesterday.
Val: Who is this girl that you speak of?
Me: I met her at the airport a few weeks ago. She was on that really bad flight with me that made national news, remember?
Tony: I wonder when we’ll get to meet her?
Zip: Probably never. His sparkling personality will run her off before we get the chance.
I rolled my eyes.
But she wasn’t wrong.
I usually ran them off way before I got to the introduction stage of the relationship.
There was something about Ande, though. Something that I knew would be a forever kind of thing. If we allowed it.
Ande: Well, I just saw the nastiest looking penis I’ve ever seen in my life. Ol’ dude decided to stick it in a penis pump for four days to hopefully make it bigger, and in turn it got infected, and there is gangrene involved.
I winced.
That sounded… awful.
Me: Does it help if I say that I miss you?
Hades: Wrong thread, bro. Glad to know that you’re human and have the capacity to miss someone, though.
I rolled my eyes, said my goodbyes to the group chat, then resent the original message in the correct thread.
Me: Does it help if I say that I miss you?
Ande: Obviously. Fancy a trip to Hazard, Nebraska?
Hazard, Nebraska had never been on my radar before, but that was when there wasn’t a gorgeous woman who’d stolen my heart on an airplane living there.
I could go straight there, but I’d require medical attention.
And I didn’t want her to freak out just yet.
I wanted her to get to know me before I told her what I did with my spare time.
Me: I would love to, but I have to get back and act like I actually want Circus House to be a successful business.
Ande: That’s awfully responsible of you.
Me: I know, right? Sometimes I surprise even myself.
Ande: What are your plans once you get home?
Me: A whole lot of sleeping. These back-and-forth flights are kicking my ass.
Ande: Are you ever going to tell me about these back-and-forth flights?
Me: Once you like me enough, yes.
Ande: That doesn’t sound ominous at all.
Me: It’s… confidential.
Ande: Like military confidential?
Me: Like military confidential.
Ande: But you’ll tell me one day?
Me: Absolutely.
CHAPTER 8
I blame Disney on my unrealistic expectations on how many dogs I can own.
-Text from Ande to Keene
ANDE
Me: Today we ran a call on a man who decided to put his hand into a woodchipper because he accidentally threw in his favorite pair of gloves.
Keene: And let me guess, he lost his entire arm?
Me: Actually, no. He lost his life because it was an industrial woodchipper. It sucked him in like a Hoover vacuum. When we got there, the only thing left of him were his legs. But that’s only because the machine turned off when it got up to his mid-torso.