Total pages in book: 37
Estimated words: 32429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 162(@200wpm)___ 130(@250wpm)___ 108(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 32429 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 162(@200wpm)___ 130(@250wpm)___ 108(@300wpm)
Chapter 10
XAVIER
I can feel my mind going slowly but surely."I don't give a fuck," I spit out. "You're here to follow my orders, so fucking do as I say. Now."
Everything I've thought about myself is unraveling, leaving me the shell of a broken man. I thought things would get better after I captured Tallulah and brought her home with me. But having to pretend to be my brother is taking its toll.
My mind is spinning every day I come out of her room after filling her. I'm starting to think I'm going to go crazy.
Today, I decided not to allow myself to do what I've been doing for the past week to Tallulah. I still have something left to do, something I've wanted to do for years. And tonight, I'm going to make those promises I made to myself come true.
Saul and I leave the house in the evening, right after nightfall, and drive to an underground bunker where I haven't been for a very long time.
Memories of the fight I had to endure when I was only a child assault me from every side as I enter through those tall doors and find myself in a room I know all too well.
The fight between my brother and me was something that changed me forever.
Something that taught me I needed to be a different kind of man to survive in this cruel world. That's exactly why I sent Heath here.
From the moment my nephew was born, he was a gentle soul, someone kind and sweet. A boy who had a soft heart and too much empathy for his own good. I knew the experience when I sent him off would be a hard thing for him to face, but I also knew it was necessary if he ever wanted to make it in the cartel world.
I still think he should be grateful to me. If it weren't for me intervening, he would have never lived to see twenty.
He was too nice, too complacent and too lenient with other people. Someone would have killed him eventually, rather sooner than later. And what I did was only to show him that life can be better. That is not unlike the way I treated my own brother Xander.
After all, when we fought in the ring, he won and prevailed over me.
That was the first sign that he could one day overtake me. I never should have let him win.
"Are you sure you're ready for this, padron?" Saul asks me as we enter.
"I know I'm ready. At some point I had to come here again and see it for myself. I'm better," I mutter, taking a swig out of my glass filled with expensive whiskey.
Even though I've told Saul I'm more than ready to face my fears again, I still have doubts about whether or not I can actually do it. Just being here fills me with memories I would do better to avoid. I don't want to be thinking about Xander. That bastard already takes up too much of my day. A constant reminder of the past, and a constant thorn in my side. He's always been someone I have to take care of. Always at the top of the priority list. But what I did to him... Well, it negates everything I promised my mother and myself.
When we lost our parents, I thought I'd be able to defend and protect Xander forever. But that turned out not to be the truth.
Saul and I take our seats in the front row while people mutter and whisper as we sit down. I know it's a big thing that we're here. I haven't made an appearance in this ring in ages, even though I technically own it.
It must have been a decade since I last crossed this doorstep. Even then, I didn't come inside to watch the fight.
But that's exactly what I'm doing tonight, a painful reminder of what I put Heath through and what I had to do to better myself, to be able to become the man I am today.
There's the sound of a gong and slowly, the place fills up even more. The whole room is teeming with people. So many people.
Most of them are drunk. Some of them are rich, some of them are incredibly poor. I sit at the top of them like their king. Everyone knows who I am here and I have no doubt every single person here knows my name.
They will do well to remember it, because I'm the owner of this place and if I found out of a transgression from one of them, I would happily kick them out or do even worse.
I long to put a bullet between someone's eyes again. Ideally my brother, but I know that's not going to happen anytime soon.
For now, I need to stay patient and watch the fight unfolding in front of me.