Total pages in book: 117
Estimated words: 113142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113142 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 566(@200wpm)___ 453(@250wpm)___ 377(@300wpm)
I screamed until my voice was gone.
Until the physical pain overrode the pain in my heart.
Until the darkness inside became the darkness that drowned me.
Sean looked at me, shocked. “Adam, please—”
I shook my head. “No. I’m resigning. Effective immediately. I don’t want to do this anymore—any of it.”
“Look, I know the last trip was rough. I had no idea what you’d be going into would be so intense. Larry is taking a leave for a while. Take Ally and go away. At least think about it.”
I swallowed at his mention of Ally. No one knew what had occurred. I didn’t plan on sharing.
“No, Sean. I’m done. The last trip wasn’t just rough. The suffering and death I saw—it was devastating. I don’t know how Peter and Edwina cope with it.”
“The satellite phones you ordered for Peter arrived, and he told me how invaluable you were—and how generous. He said he wasn’t sure he would have made it through without your help.” His voice dropped. “He told me it was pretty bad. He was worried about your health. I am as well. You look awful.”
I didn’t want to discuss my health or anything else. Only the fact that I was done.
“What are you going to do?”
“Actually, I’m going back. The clinic needs hands—any kinds of hands to help. I’m going to go and do some good for a change, and then I’m going to get lost for a while. Take pictures of beautiful things and try to remember a world that doesn’t just contain death and devastation.”
“I’ll take your pictures. We’ll use them in the travel section. Don’t quit on me. You’re one of my best.” His voice was rough. “I was sure you’d change your mind about leaving. I had no idea this trip would push you further away.”
I hesitated.
I knew I needed to get out of this city. Away from the memories that now haunted me at every turn. Ally was everywhere.
When I woke up after my breakdown, I spent hours cleaning the loft. Sweeping and scrubbing up the mess I had created with my whirlwind temper. The last thing I did was tuck her ring away into the back of my file cabinet, along with the pieces of her broken necklace. Then I sat down and thought of my options. The investigator had nothing still—he wanted more time. I could wait and see if he found anything and go see her. Make her say the words to my face. Except, I kept remembering her texts. She knew I was here since she’d responded to her mother’s text, but she hadn’t tried to get in touch. Her silence said more than any words she could have screamed at me.
She had run away because of me. I thought of how much she loved working at the hospital. Her quiet life, outside the world of Sarah and Ronald. I had only lived here a few years, and aside from people at the magazine, I had very little holding me here. And the memories that were here were too much to handle.
I should be the one to leave. She should be free to come back and live her life. If I wasn’t here, she could return. My presence had to be keeping her away.
I looked at Sean, his expression hopeful.
“I’ll make you a deal.”
“Name it.”
“I’m still resigning. And I want a press release issued stating that fact, as well as the fact that I have left the country. If anyone inquires, I am no longer under contract here.”
“Doesn’t sound like much of a deal to me.”
I held up my hand. “When I’m ready and I start taking photos again, I’ll think about coming back. But that information stays strictly between us. Not a word goes out I might return.”
“You’re really leaving?”
“Yes.”
“What about Al—”
I shook my head before he could finish.
His face changed, his expression saddening. “I’m sorry,” he said.
“I have to go.”
He sighed. “Why do I have a feeling you might never return?”
“There’s that chance. But if it happens, I’ll let you know.”
“I bought your photos before you lived here, you know. We can do that again.”
“If I begin to work again, you’ll be the first to know.”
“When do you want the press release out?”
I wanted to leave fast. To escape and leave the memories behind. “Larry and I will finish the piece today. I need a few days to get my affairs in order.”
“So, Friday?”
“Yes. Release it once I’m gone.”
He stood, extending his hand. “I hope to see you back in that chair again, Adam.” He drew in a deep breath. “And without that haunted look on your face.”
I shook his hand without replying. I wasn’t sure that look would ever leave.
Friday night, I looked around the loft, gazing at the space impassively. My bag was by the door, the case with my new equipment beside it.