Total pages in book: 119
Estimated words: 113699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 568(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 113699 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 568(@200wpm)___ 455(@250wpm)___ 379(@300wpm)
Fucking asshole.
That’s a low fucking blow that drives a knife of anguish deep into my gut. He’s right. I wouldn’t know what to do. Not that I’ve shared that truth with anyone else, and especially none of my friends.
In a way, it’s embarrassing to admit that I’ve never gone all the way with a woman before. Yeah, I’ve made out with them, sure, and done almost everything else, but never full-on sex.
It’s embarrassing, at least in my mind. I let everyone think whatever they want about me and my sexual prowess. No point in correcting them or drawing more attention to something that I don’t want to talk about anyway.
“Dude, what the hell is going on with you? Do I need to call an intervention? Because I fucking will. I will get all of us together, and we will fix whatever the problem is.”
Aries runs a hand through his hair, and when he blinks, that dark, dangerous energy disappears. Right before my eyes, he morphs into the familiar warm friend I’ve always known. Weird. What the actual fuck?
“Fuck,” he mutters under his breath while taking a step back. “I’m being an ass, aren’t I?”
The tension in my shoulders eases. “Yeah. An absolute dick. You called me a slut.”
“It’s the fucking vodka.” He slumps against the bedroom wall, sinking to the floor, suddenly looking more tired than threatening. “Makes me dramatic. Next thing you know, I’ll be writing bad poetry and crying about my ex.”
Despite everything, I snort. This is Aries—self-deprecating, harmless, and able to break the tension with a well-timed joke. The linebacker frame seems less imposing and more like the gentle giant I’ve come to know.
“You’re still an ass,” I say, but there’s no heat in it.
“Yeah, well.” He sprawls his legs out in front of him. “When am I not? But in all seriousness, this thing with Salem. Is it really different?”
I join him on the floor, keeping some distance between us but feeling more comfortable than before in his presence. We’ve had countless drunk conversations here—about hookups, friend drama, and the endless pressure of expectation from our families. This isn’t any different, but it feels like it is for some reason.
“It’s different,” I confirm, examining my bruised knuckles. “She’s different.”
“Because she’s a woman?”
“I don’t think it matters if she’s a woman or not. She’s different because she’s her.” The words come out before I can filter them. “She’s a puzzle, Aries. Like no one I’ve ever met. She counts things. Did you know that? Steps and breaths and ceiling tiles. Makes this fucked-up world make sense somehow.”
Aries is quiet, probably thinking up his next asshole retort as he picks at a loose thread on his jeans. “This is surprising. You really like her.”
It’s not a question.
“Yeah.” I let my head fall back against the wall. “There’s only a slight issue. I’ve never … I mean, with women, I’ve done stuff, but never … you implied you knew, but I’d never talked to you about it before. Not this.”
“Wait.” Aries sits up straighter, and I look back at him, meeting his shocked expression. “You’ve never fucked a woman? Dude, I was just pressing buttons until I hit something.”
Heat crawls up my neck, but the embarrassment seems to fade. “Not with my cock.”
The admission hangs between us like a bright red flag. It feels good not to carry that secret on my shoulders anymore.
“Shit.” Aries runs a hand over his beard. “And Salem … does she know?”
“That I’m bi? Obviously. That I’ve never fucked a woman? No.”
“You should tell her.”
I laugh, but it comes out hollow. “And this is why none of us take relationship advice from you.”
Aries smiles. “I’m the perfect one to come to for advice. I’ll just tell you to stay the fuck away from women in general.”
All I can do is shake my head. “Well, FYI, it would not go over well if I said, ‘Hey, Pantry Girl, just so you know, I have no idea what I’m doing, but please let me slip my cock inside you.’”
“Smooth.” Aries chuckles.
“See? Not following your advice.”
“Pantry Girl? That’s what you call her?”
I can’t take this fucker seriously. “That’s all you got from that big-ass sentence?”
He nods, accepting this like he accepts most of my weird shit. “If you’re serious about her …”
“I’m serious. She’s not.” The certainty in my voice surprises us both.
“Then make her serious about you. I’m sure she’ll be super gentle when she takes your other virginity.” He wiggles his eyebrows at me.
I flip him off, and he chuckles, but my thoughts drift away from anger and right to Salem. The truth is terrifying. I want her for real.
“What if I mess it up?” The words come out barely a whisper. “What if I hurt her?”
Aries leans close and bumps my shoulder with his. “That’s what everyone worries about, man. Gay, straight, bi—doesn’t matter. First times are scary as fuck.”