Total pages in book: 102
Estimated words: 96714 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 96714 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 484(@200wpm)___ 387(@250wpm)___ 322(@300wpm)
“I should insult my own sex more often.”
“Please do, it’s funny.” I put my hand to my chest and touched the necklace he’d given me. It was a love heart with a diamond in the center. I’d never been given jewelry before. It was such a beautiful and delicate piece. “This is beautiful. Thank you.”
“And it looks stunning on you. I knew the moment I saw it, you’d look beautiful in it.”
This made me smile and I felt my cheeks heating.
“He never allowed you to have any kind of jewelry, did he?” Ivan asked.
I pressed my lips together and shook my head. I tried to speak but had to clear my throat. “There was a lot I wasn’t allowed to have.”
“I wish I’d allowed him to live a little longer so I could have shown him true pain.”
This made me chuckle. “It’s fine. I didn’t want him to die.” It was an easy lie.
“Charlotte, it’s not a bad thing wanting him dead.”
“He used to ask me that question a lot,” I said. “After a beating or when he’d taken something from me. You know, I found a dog once, wandering around. I think it had been abandoned and because it showed me love, he took it.”
“Don’t lie to me, Charlotte,” Ivan said. “You wanted him dead, didn’t you?”
I looked away and nodded my head. “Yeah, I wanted him dead. There were a couple of times he’d come home.” I stopped and swallowed. “And he’d be passed out. I don’t know if it was drink or drugs, or whatever the hell it was, but he’d be laid on the couch or on his bed, and I would have a knife in my hands. I wanted to kill him so many times.” I had never admitted it out loud. “I thought it would make my life easier.”
“Why didn’t you?”
“Fear, and I’m a coward. One time, Rage stopped me.” I looked at Ivan.
“He did?”
“Yeah, I was so angry after he’d taken the dog from me. I called the dog Ivan.” I looked at Ivan. “I think I named him after you. I’d never met you, but I saw that your name filled him with fear. It might be why he took the dog. My dad liked animals, but he never kept one. He didn’t kill it, just sent it to the animal shelter.” I hadn’t thought about Ivan. “I think it was a mongrel.”
Ivan laughed. “Much like myself.”
This confused me.
Ivan tapped his fingers on the table. “I was the product of one of my father’s many affairs. He was a violent man. Even though he didn’t control what I did, nor have as much power, he was a man who was used to the streets. He was nothing more than a common thug. I had a stutter. I was weak, and he discarded me. Actually, he hoped to kill me, but the guard that was sent to do the job couldn’t bring himself to kill a child, his boss’s son. A boy he’d, in a way, helped to raise. So, he helped me as best he could.”
“You were a child?”
“Yes.”
“It was being a child on my own that helped build who I am today.”
“You don’t stutter anymore.”
“Of course not.” Ivan smiled.
“Thank you for telling me that.”
“The Volkov Bratva used to be nothing more than a street gang,” Ivan said. “My father was into everything—drugs, guns, fighting, money, petty stuff. For the longest time I was afraid of him.” Ivan looked me in the eye. “You build these people up inside your head to be a lot bigger than they actually are.”
“I get that.”
“And being on the streets, I learned to read people. I learned a great deal about respect, loyalty, about all kinds of shit, and I knew that one day, not only would I kill my father, but I was going to take the Bratva from him. So I did, and my men, my brigadiers, swore their loyalty to me. I only made one bad decision, but other than that, I have built this up.”
“Why are you telling me this?”
“You’ve lived with a great deal of fear and pain, Charlotte, and it’s my vow to you, my promise, that you will never know such fear and pain again.”
This made the tears I’d tried to hold at bay come spilling out. “This isn’t fair.” I sniffled. “It’s my birthday, and I’m crying.”
“Let it out. Let all the pain out.”
I covered my face with my hands, and I tensed up as Ivan wrapped his arms around me, hugging me.
“Ive’s a difficult man, but he’s a good man. He will never harm you, and if you want to make your marriage work, where there’s a chance for him to love you, then you need to start talking. You need to start asking him for shit.”
He made it sound so easy, but it wasn’t easy to ask for anything. I didn’t know what the hell I was doing.