Total pages in book: 121
Estimated words: 115198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 115198 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 576(@200wpm)___ 461(@250wpm)___ 384(@300wpm)
“Come on in, hon,” Blaire says, patting the bench right beside her, even though there is a long, unoccupied bench between them.
With my breath tight in my chest, I loosen the tie at my waist and quickly slip the robe off, hanging it on the wall peg beside Janet’s and Blaire’s. Working to not crouch over with an arm over my boobs and a hand over my privates, I ignore the press of their eyes on me as I quickly walk to the empty bench, laying a towel down, and sitting. I’m positive they saw my butt crack and am so thankful eighteen-year-old Anna never got the Elmo ass tattoo she’d fallen in love with while high on mushrooms. My heart is a squirrel in my chest, scrambling madly.
How does one sit naked in a steam room, postmassage? Not with their legs crossed, as I very quickly learn. My legs slide apart the moment I try, my left one making an audible slap as I return it to the bench. I glance at Janet and mimic her posture but am convinced I look like I’m sitting miserably in the principal’s office.
“Mmmm,” Blaire moans, a little too sexually to not be awkward. “This is heaven.”
“It sure is,” I agree brightly, like we’re sipping lemonade on the veranda. I wipe a drop of sweat when it rolls down my forehead and onto my eyelid.
“About your anniversary dinner,” Janet cuts in, her voice rising out of the quiet. “Unfortunately, I don’t think there will be time for a big to-do. We’d like to keep the focus on Charlie.”
I stammer out a few sounds before settling on “Of course you would. It’s her wedding.”
She opens one eye, studies me coolly, and then closes it again. “I hope you’re not too disappointed.”
Blood rushes hot to my cheeks, making me feel lightheaded. Is this gaslighting? I think this is textbook gaslighting. “Oh, to be clear, West and I didn’t expect you to do anything.”
“No?” She adjusts her hands on her lap. “I must’ve misunderstood you the other night.”
I don’t even know what to do with my face right now. I glance at Blaire, who is looking right at me. When our eyes meet, she mouths a sympathetic “Don’t worry about it,” and I feel better, but still stunned.
“I did order a case of Liam’s favorite wine,” she says and seems to wait for me to provide the name, though the only wine I can think of is Boone’s Farm and I’m pretty sure that’s not it. “Mount Brave cab,” she supplies, finally.
“That’s the one.” I snap, but my fingers just slip across each other soundlessly and I really fucking hope neither of them watched me do that. “That’s very nice of you.”
“Any thoughts on grandchildren?” she asks, a hard-thrown curveball, and this time I know there’s no use schooling my expression. I look over at Blaire, who is just laughing quietly to herself.
“We, uh,” I say, before coughing. “It’s been busy. With the doctor things I have on my calendar. But we’re definitely trying. Very hard.”
“I bet y’all are,” Blaire says, and winks at me. “You’ve got that newlywed glow, even after all this time.” She adjusts her posture. “The quiet ones are the wildest, aren’t they? I’ve seen Liam’s arms. I bet that man hoists you up and—”
“Blaire.” Janet reaches up, delicately wiping her brow. “Honestly.”
Blaire winks at me, and I’m glad we’re in a steam room and that I’m already red. The idea of West hoisting me up in his arms during sex is… whew. It’s a lot.
“What was he like when he was younger?” I ask Janet.
“Liam?” she asks. “Oh, he was a good boy.” She pauses, smiling to herself. “The best boy, in fact. Protective, loyal, devoted.” Her expression straightens, and after a moment of silence, she stands, sauntering in her impressive nudity to the wall. “He would do anything to protect the people he loves. Remember that.”
Janet slips on her robe and then looks at me levelly, saying, “Be good to him, Anna,” before ducking out of the room.
I don’t know why this hits me so hard, in such a tender place. I remind myself once again that West isn’t my husband in the ways that matter. I shouldn’t let myself get wrapped up in this complicated, fucked-up family, especially since I have so much of my own complicated, fucked-up nonsense to figure out the second I land on US soil. But my heart doesn’t care that this isn’t my business; the odd combination of sadness and brittle love in Janet’s voice still makes me want to cry.
* * *
BLAIRE CHEERS ME UP with more anecdotes about what Janet was like when Blaire and Alex first went public with their romance. There were holidays that felt like final exams, miscommunicated dates and times meant to make Blaire look disorganized and irresponsible, and cutting insults murmured under her breath. I can imagine myself pledging my undying devotion to Blaire, but then she loses all credibility when she reassures me that, despite how prickly she can be, Janet is one of her best friends now. Which is a nice enough lie but frankly does me no good, since I don’t plan on being around long enough to get us out of the Mother-in-Law Hazing phase anyway.