Total pages in book: 208
Estimated words: 209645 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1048(@200wpm)___ 839(@250wpm)___ 699(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 209645 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 1048(@200wpm)___ 839(@250wpm)___ 699(@300wpm)
Therefore, I did not get up.
I laid in bed and let my mind float on the chilly numbness that had overtaken me.
And this was my state when True came again just now, likely to check on me before bidding me goodnight.
I did not care he was there. I did not care that the celebrations were over for the noise outside was abating. I did not care that my country had a new queen. I did not care that in but days, we would be leaving my land to travel to a place I’d never been, never wanted to go, this so I could wed its future king, a man who did not want me, but had no choice but to have me.
I simply did not care.
About anything.
As these thoughts drifted through my mind, I realized that True had entered my room some minutes ago, but he had not approached the bed.
But I did not care enough to lift my head to see where he was.
I just stared at nothing as the lamplight danced in the room.
And I continued to do so when it started to dim as True moved about the room, extinguishing it.
Though something stirred in me when I felt the bedcovers behind me move.
And something else stirred when I felt the sensation of a body hitting the mattress.
Last, I felt my own body grow taut when my intended fitted himself to my back and snaked an arm around my belly.
This was highly unlike True.
I knew he wished to comfort me.
However…
“True—”
“Quiet.”
I blinked into the dark at his word and the tone he’d used to utter it.
He pulled me tighter to his warmth. Warmth that was, first, very warm, and second, I could tell he did not have his usual clothing on. Shirt. Trousers. Waistcoat. Obviously no boots as he was under the silks with me.
I didn’t know what he wore for I had my nightgown on.
But I could feel skin against skin at my shoulders.
He was silent for a long time and I thought he was going to sleep.
I was surprised he intended to sleep with me.
But apparently, he did.
Though, I was wrong about him being asleep for he spoke again.
“Tomorrow, you will eat. You may lie in bed. You may keep others away, except me. But you will eat, is this understood, Farah?”
Now I was surprised he was being domineering.
He’d never been domineering.
His arm gave me a shake.
“Farah?”
“Tomorrow, I will eat,” I said simply to say what he wished to hear.
“Elpis is making arrangements for your mother’s death ceremony. If you wish to be involved in that, you’ll need to say so and I will make certain that your wishes are adhered to.”
“What is Elpis planning?” I asked.
“I’ve no idea. Do you wish to know?”
I felt a flare of anger at such an offensive question and snapped, “Of course I do.”
“Then I shall bring Elpis to you tomorrow, you will share how we’ll say our final goodbyes to Sofia, and I’ll see to it that your wishes are seen to.”
“Thank you.”
“After that,” he went on as if I didn’t speak, “after tomorrow, you must get up. You must take fresh air. You must have activity. You will, of course, continue to grieve. But it is not healthy hiding in the dark, lying abed.”
I had no reply to that.
“After your father’s actions, your mother carried on,” he remarked, and my anger flared again, hotter this time. “She continued to live. She looked after you.”
“It is not your right to say such things,” I retorted. “Things you know nothing about. She did not endure that and what came after then lose her daughter.”
“I did not know her well, this is true, but can you say with a hint of honesty that she would be fine with her daughter lying abed and feeling sorry for herself?”
I twisted my neck to look at him, and as I did, his head came up to look down at me through the shadows.
“If it pleases you, Your Grace, she’s been dead only a day,” I began sarcastically. “May I feel sorry for myself for a day without having to endure a prince’s lecture?”
“Farah,” he growled, and at his tone, one I’d never heard from him, I stared in shock through the dark as his face got closer to mine and the timbre of his voice remained just as aggravated, “if you call me ‘Your Grace’ one more time…”
He let that trail.
“What?” I snapped.
“It will hurt me, and it will harm us. I am not that to you. It did not start that way between us and it will never be that way between us, unless you make it so.”
I shut my mouth.
I opened it again to state, “You have no idea how this feels. Until, and may the gods make this time long, you lose your own mother, as far as I’m concerned, you have nothing to say on the matter of how I grieve my own.”