Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 84676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 84676 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 423(@200wpm)___ 339(@250wpm)___ 282(@300wpm)
TWENTY-SIX
Jules
Leo didn’t mention a specific restaurant when he suggested dinner, so I’m in gray joggers and a Taylor Swift tee, researching food delivery options. It will probably be for the last time. I’m going to miss living here. But it’s not just the convenience and the view. I’m going to miss Leo.
The sadness of moving out is replaced by a nugget of excitement about what’s to come. I really like Leo and I know he likes me. I want us to navigate this next part of whatever we’re doing so we can keep liking each other. I can’t remember the last time I felt that I wanted more with a man. This feels like a fresh start.
A fresh start with Leo—and perhaps a fresh start with my dad too? I’ll have to tell Mom that he’s back in town. She won’t like it, but I also know she won’t stand in the way of him being in my life. All those birthdays and Christmases I saw her crying when she thought I wasn’t watching… I knew she wanted my father to be with us—she wanted a family. Maybe it’s too late for a conventional family, but that doesn’t mean that we can’t fashion something out of what’s left.
My phone buzzes and I see Leo’s name as soon as I pick it up.
Running late. Can you order in some sushi?
No problem. How long do you think you’ll be?
An hour. Maybe a bit more.
No problem. Looking forward to hearing how it went with my dad.
Three dots that indicate he’s typing show up and then disappear. He probably has to focus on his current meeting. And then, while I’m staring, they reappear. And stop again. Is he distracted? Busy?
I follow up with, And sushi with you, as well!
The three dots reappear and then I get a message.
Can’t wait for sushi either. Not much to say about your dad. He didn’t show.
It feels like the seat just fell out of my chair. I’m in free fall. He must have been there. I showed him to the door.
I start to type out a message asking if Leo is sure, but then I delete it. Of course he’s sure.
I walked him to the door of your building.
I press send and try to remember what Dad said before he went in. We talked about how he loved New York, though he didn’t say how long he was staying. We walked to Leo’s building arm in arm.
Something must be wrong.
I call his number, but he doesn’t answer.
I feel nauseous. I clutch at my stomach with my hand. He seemed perfectly well when I left him. It can only have been something big that got in the way of him getting from the building reception up to Leo’s floor. Something huge. A heart attack. Or stroke.
I should start calling around hospitals. I don’t even know if he has insurance. As I bring up the keypad on my phone, ready to call god knows who, my cell rings again.
It’s my dad.
“Hello?” I answer. “Is everything okay? What happened?”
“Hey, Dollface,” he answers. “How are you?”
“Forget about me. Where are you? How are you? Are you in the hospital?”
“No, no, no,” he says. “I’m in my car.” In his car? I can’t picture it. I don’t know what car he’s driving.
“On the way back from the hospital?” I ask.
“No, I haven’t been to the hospital.”
“Dad!” I say. “Leo said you didn’t show for your meeting.”
“Ohhh, yeah. That. I was going to call you. I got a message just after I saw you. I had an emergency.”
“What kind of emergency?” I ask.
“It’s taken me out of town for a couple of days. That’s all.”
“You’re not in New York?”
“I’ve got a few things to clear up. I might even have a job lined up. You never know. Wish me luck, Dollface.”
I hold the phone away from my ear, hoping I’ll get more of a clue about what’s going on by looking at the screen. It doesn’t make sense, but neither does my dad right now.
“So… you’re not sick?” I ask.
“Fit as a fiddle,” he replies.
“You just ditched the meeting with Leo.”
“Like I said, I had an emergency.” He clears his throat. “Listen, Dollface, I’m driving. I’ll call you another time.”
Before I can respond, the phone goes dead.
Suddenly I’m six years old again, sitting on the windowsill, watching the taillights of my dad’s silver Honda disappear into traffic.
I put on my sneakers and head out to find a cab that will take me to New Jersey.
TWENTY-SEVEN
Jules
I hold the door to Leo’s apartment open so Sophia can follow me in, then I drop the keys on the side table. I don’t need those anymore. I can’t wait to get moved out and move on with my life. Leo was a diversion. I need to reframe and refocus. I need to get back to celibacy and the career ladder.