Total pages in book: 105
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 97557 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 488(@200wpm)___ 390(@250wpm)___ 325(@300wpm)
"I just want you safe," I whisper and look away from him because I’m ashamed of myself for believing he might actually follow through this once.
“No. Don’t look away.” Sebastian lifts my chin, forcing my gaze back to his, and then leans forward and gently brushes his mouth against mine. Even the tiniest contact ignites flames of desire low in my belly. "I know you didn’t mean any harm. You thought you were doing the right thing, but we both know neither of us will have peace or be safe until he’s taken care of. Yes, you’re strong, but we’re a team. We work together on this. I need to know you trust me to keep you safe and to get rid of the problem. Will you let me do that, for us?"
The way he says us warms me from the inside out, making the tremors slow. "Us?"
"Yes, us. We are partners. You are my wife, and I know I'm not the most forthcoming bastard, but I'm trying, Ely. I'm really trying. It'll take time for me to break my old habits. To rely on you, and for you to rely on me, especially when I know all we’ve ever had is ourselves." He glances at the bag of cash. “But we do this together, as a team. I want that. I want you. I want us."
I lean in, staring deep into his eyes before I kiss him. As soon as our lips touch, his eyes drift closed, and his hand splays across the back of my neck, holding me in place as he kisses me back with the same unwavering passion.
Fuck. I need him. I want him.
Like I’ve never wanted anything else in my life. The bubble of desire pops when I move to deepen the kiss, and he pulls away.
"No," he says breathlessly. "I want you, too, so fucking bad but we need to clear the air, spill any other secrets before it’s too late.”
“I have nothing else to tell you.”
This time he looks away, his eyes landing on something over my shoulder. I watch him swallow, his throat bobbing. "Okay, well, I have something I need to tell you. And it’s not going to be easy for you to hear but I can’t carry the guilt with me anymore…” There’s a desperation to his voice. “I need you to listen to me, to be understanding and…”
This sounds bad. Really fucking bad, and I don’t have the bandwidth to handle much more right now. Not when my insides feel like someone took a cheese grater to them.
“We can talk, and you can tell me whatever it is you need to tell me, but not right now. I can’t handle anything else. I just need you. Need you to hold me. Need you to tell me everything is going to be okay, because it doesn’t feel like it is.”
He presses his forehead to mine relief flickering in his eyes. "I know the future seems daunting right now, but we will get through this together. We're both fucked up, fractured, and flawed. But that doesn’t mean we don’t deserve happiness, nor does it mean we can’t create our own version of it."
I pull away enough to look into his eyes again. "Do you really think so?"
He nods, "I read this quote once. Oscar Wilde said 'we're all a little broken. That's how the light gets in.' It stuck with me because at the time I read it, I wanted it to be true. I wanted to be someone with light. I wanted to know that even if I was broken, it didn't mean I was unworthy, that I was done for. Then I met you. You shined light into all the fractures in my soul and made me realize there is more to myself than the darkness, than the little abused boy I used to be. You’re my light, my everything, and we will get through this together.”
My heart seizes in my chest. I love him. There is no denying it. Taking his cheeks in my hands, I kiss him with a desperate need while speaking through each brush of my lips. "You're my light, too, and I’m sorry. Sorry for my stubbornness, and for succumbing to old habits. For letting my past trauma dictate my future.”
He clutches my hips, pulling me closer and ensuring there isn’t an inch of space between our bodies. "You mean that? No more running. No matter what happens? No matter who comes for us, we will stand against them together, agreed?"
I’m afraid. I’m terrified to say yes because I’ve never had anyone in my life I could rely on, who would defend me and protect me. But I’ll never be able to move forward if I continue to live in the past.
“Agreed. No more running. We’re a team.”