Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 122219 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 611(@200wpm)___ 489(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 122219 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 611(@200wpm)___ 489(@250wpm)___ 407(@300wpm)
“No. He’s still at my family’s farm.”
“Shit. Listen, last night, I was a mess. I’ve been meaning to figure out a way to apologize to you and Cam for how I was acting. That’s not who I am normally.”
“But it’s who you’ve been lately.”
He grimaced. “Listen, I don’t need a lecture—”
“I’m not here to lecture. Just here to talk. Can I come in for a second?”
Adam glanced over his shoulder. “Gee, Coach, it’s actually pretty messy. I don’t want you to get the wrong idea. Things have been a bit rough lately without…” His words faded away, but I knew he was speaking of his wife.
“I don’t mind messes. I won’t take up much of your time, I swear.”
He nodded and stepped to the side. He led me into his house, to his living room, where empty food containers and beer bottles were spread all over the place. Adam scrambled to gather the stuff from the coffee table and tossed it into the kitchen sink. He then tossed the dirty clothes piled high on the couch into an already overloaded basket sitting by the laundry room.
“Sorry,” he grumbled, hurrying back over to me. “Please, take a seat.”
I sat on the couch, and he sat in the recliner across from me.
I noticed the photographs sitting on the fireplace mantel, photos of Adam smiling with his family, before the darkness tried to swallow him whole.
“Look, Coach, I just owe you an apology for how you saw me last night. That wasn’t my norm, and I don’t want you to think anything awful about me,” he started. “And I know Cameron probably painted a bad picture of me, but that kid can be a bit dramatic with everything. He’s a good kid, but he’s a bit of a drama king. I like to say he got that from his mother.” The moment he mentioned his wife, I saw the sadness flash through his stare. “She was a drama teacher, after all.”
“I’m sorry about your loss, Adam.”
He grimaced and sniffled a bit. “Yeah. That’s what most people say. After a while, those words feel empty.”
“Do the words feel empty, or do you feel empty?”
He hesitated for a moment before clearing his throat. “Can you tell Cameron he can come home now? I got everything under control. Last night was just a bad night.”
“Cameron mentioned you’ve been having a few bad nights. And you seem to get a bit too excited at games, too.”
“What can I say? I’m a big baseball guy.” He laughed, trying to play it off. He went to stand. “Listen, I hate to break this up, but I have a lot—”
“My father had a drinking problem. Drinking and gambling. He almost lost our family farm due to his addictions. He used to come down hard on me whenever he was in one of his drunken slurries. Never came down on any of my younger brothers, only me. And only in private. My mom never knew. I think it was because he thought I was strong enough to take his abuse.”
Adam lowered himself back down to the recliner and narrowed his eyes. “What’s your point?”
“My point is that Cameron is your son. Not your punching bag.”
“Now you hold on right there, I ain’t never laid one hand on my son. Sure, I might’ve shoved him a little last night, but he fell alone. How dare you even accuse me of such a thing? Was last night bad? Yes, but I’d never—”
“He needs you, Adam.” I cut in. “You might not be physically abusing him, but your words and actions…those are hitting him deeper than you’ll ever know. Yet that boy loves you more than anything. You are his hero, and I think watching you struggle after the loss of your wife has been the hardest thing for him. Because he knows this isn’t you, Adam. Cameron knows that this version of you isn’t his father. I know you might find the need to get defensive, but you don’t have to do that. I’m not here to shame you. I’m here to help.”
“To help?” he huffed, shaking his head. His hands clasped together, and he looked down at his hands. “How the hell could you help me?” he smugly asked. “How the hell could you make anything I’ve been going through better? You don’t know half the shit I’m dealing with.”
“You’re right,” I agreed. “I don’t. But I’ve been your son. I’ve had someone like you as my father. And I would’ve done anything I could’ve to get my father back.”
“I wasn’t supposed to do this without her,” he whispered. I saw tears falling from his face as he kept staring at the floor in front of him. He shook his head. “She wasn’t supposed to be the one who left first.”
“I can’t imagine how hard it was to lose your wife.”