Total pages in book: 77
Estimated words: 71246 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 71246 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 356(@200wpm)___ 285(@250wpm)___ 237(@300wpm)
When I get out of the truck after Lex drops me off, I pretend to walk in the building until I know he is out of sight. Then I make my way left to go meet Blair for breakfast.
I walk in the cafeteria and look around. It takes me a minute to spot her. I motion with my head in a greeting and make my way over.
“Hey, roomie!” She is friendly, chipper, eager to connect with me. I do not know what to do with that. I have never been one much for friends, so it is odd that she likes me before she knows me. I don’t trust that.
“Hey,” I offer back, a little less enthusiastically. I set my bag down on the floor near my legs and look over at the long line. I decide to skip the hot food and go straight for the bakery section, which is faster. “I’m going to get a muffin. Do you want anything?” I look at her.
“No, I ate before you got here since I got here early.”
“Cool. I’ll be right back.”
I come back with a muffin and juice in hand and take a seat.
“How are things with your boyfriend?” She is eager to get to know me, it seems, but it comes across as nosy and callous. Why does she think I have a boyfriend?
“I don’t have a boyfriend,” I correct her, flatly, but her enthusiasm is not easily suppressed.
“Yeah, but I meant, you know, the guy you’re staying with.” She leans forward and whispers the last half of her sentence as if we are besties, and she is in on the big secret.
“He is just helping me out while I go through something. That’s all.”
I take a bite of my muffin, and it tastes off. Instantly, I want to throw it up, which is a pretty strong reaction to just one bite. It must be food poisoning.
Blair looks at me questioningly and sees that I am turning green.
“You’re not preggers, are you?” She grins from ear to ear. The big secret just got cataclysmically juicy in her mind.
The word preggers hits me like a speeding train. Now, I really think I am going to be sick. Because it dawns on me that having sex with Lex two months ago, without protection, means I could be. That is all I need.
I stand up, grab my bag, and wave her off.
“I’ll see you later. I just remembered something. I will catch up with you later.”
I run out of the hall as fast as I can and barely get outside before I’m retching. Bending over, I empty the entire contents of my stomach while keeping a hand on the wall next to me to hold me up.
Oh no, this is not good. This is so not good. It can’t be. It cannot be real. I reach in my bag, pull out a bottle of water, swish some in my mouth, and spit it out. Then I search for a napkin, and when I realize I don’t have any, I wipe my mouth on the inside collar of my shirt.
There is only one way to know. I head over to the pharmacy.
Never in my life did I think I would be in this section of the pharmacy, buying one of these boxes. I stare at them without being able to see them. My emotions are running wild at full throttle. I try desperately not to be sick again.
Finally, I pick up the two cheapest boxes and compare them. But I cannot make sense of which one is better because my eyes won’t focus, and it is just too much information for my overloaded brain. I decide to pick the cheaper of the two, walk to the counter, make my purchase, hands trembling, and then head back to the bathroom.
I have to know.
A minute later, and I am peeing on a stick in the handicap stall, feeling like an idiot. I wipe myself and put the butt of the stick in my mouth while I raise and button my pants. Then I look at it, willing it with all my heart to show negative.
A couple of minutes later and all my dreams evaporate.
I can’t believe it. I absolutely cannot believe it. Please, God, say it’s not true, that this is some cruel, awful, terrible joke.
Tears start falling from my face, and I throw the stick in the corner of the stall in a rage. No!
Everything was going so right. I got into school, I got my own place, I got away from my parents, everything was going so great. Now I am going to be dragged back down to hell for the rest of my life!
I wanted to learn to dance. I wanted to get a job that I cared about. I wanted to see the world. All of that is gone now.