Total pages in book: 78
Estimated words: 75496 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 75496 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 377(@200wpm)___ 302(@250wpm)___ 252(@300wpm)
He continued to ask questions, and I continued to answer while we finished the food and drinks. When the plate was empty, he rubbed his stomach. “I’m stuffed.”
His shirt lifted up, showing me his flat abs. I wanted to lick each one of them before my mouth found its way down to his cock again.
Kai swatted my thigh. “Not that kind of stuffed. Get your mind out of the gutter.”
“Whose mind is in the gutter? Because that’s not what I was thinking.”
“Who knew you lied so much?” He smiled before his gaze drifted to the tank. “I hope Blue is okay. As I said, it’s important to me to take good care of them. Not just because they’re living, breathing creatures—clearly, that too—but because… I guess because I always worried I wouldn’t be able to take care of myself, much less someone else. But then I moved to Santa Monica, and while it might be a struggle, I’m doing my thing and I’m taking care of them.” Kai leaned against the back of the couch and put his feet on the table. “Stupid, huh?”
“Not stupid. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to be independent and wanting to do well. And there’s nothing wrong with loving your fish. They might not be okay, but that’s not your fault. We all get sick sometimes, and eventually, we’ll all die.” I looked at him, and he had his nose crinkled up.
“Not helping, baby. How about no realism tonight? Blue will be perfectly fine! No one dies, ever.”
“You know what I mean.” I filled my wineglass before leaning back beside him. “What are all their names?”
He went through each one and told me about them and how long he’d had them. They meant a lot to him, and I damn sure hoped Blue would be okay. Kai would take it personally if they weren’t, and I didn’t want him to feel as if he’d done something wrong. “Is that why you didn’t want to move back to Riverside? What you said about taking care of yourself?”
He nodded. “My family is great. I’m the baby. My parents both worked full-time jobs to make ends meet, and my siblings helped out with me a lot. Jalen is the oldest. He’s the first person I told I’m gay.”
“It went well, I take it.”
“Oh yeah. I was young, but I knew I was different, and I knew that difference wasn’t okay with everyone, but it would be with my family. We stick together and always have each other’s backs. He was like…That’s cool, little man. You know I love you, right? And when I said yeah, he told me if anyone fucks with me, to tell him, but he also started teaching me how to take care of myself. I might not look like it, but I’m a bad motherfucker.”
Kai grinned, and I laughed. There was something infectious about him that made me feel…well, not like me. “You look like a bad motherfucker.”
“Thank you.” He dropped his head to my shoulder. “Anyway…Faith is my sister. I told her next, and it went just like it had with Jalen. They sat down with me when I told my parents. Even though they worked a lot, they always made sure all five of us sat down at the table together for dinner at least a few times a week. I was always a ball of energy, but even more that day, bouncing around in my seat before blurting out that I was gay. Mom and Dad just looked at me for a minute, and my heart seized up. I thought I’d gotten it wrong and they weren’t going to be okay, but Mama was like, We know, baby. Can you pass the mashed potatoes? And that was that.”
I chuckled, thinking about a young Kai sitting at a table with his family, the laughter and conversation. “Sounds nice.”
“Shit. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean…”
I waved off his concern. “Nah, it is what it is. I don’t let myself worry about things I can’t change. And fuck, in a lot of ways, I was lucky. I grew up in a two-parent home. We never had to worry about where rent money would come from. My parents worked their asses off to be successful, and I respect the shit out of them for it. They instilled a strong work ethic in me and taught me to be proud of who I am—as a gay man and as a Black man.” But there was a time I wished I had what Kai did—laughter and family dinners.
“I bet you were an overachiever.”
I turned my head, and Kai looked up at me. “What was your first clue?” I asked sarcastically.
“Be nice.”
“I am being nice,” I said, then, “my parents had high standards. I couldn’t get anything below an A. I was in every fucking activity you can think of—music, art, languages. They wanted me to have what they’d lacked growing up. I don’t want to sound like they were cold or didn’t love me. I just… If they asked how was your day, they meant what did you accomplish, and because of that, I have all this.” And how could I ever complain about the situation I was in? That my parents defied the odds and created an empire?