Total pages in book: 111
Estimated words: 110273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 441(@250wpm)___ 368(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 110273 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 551(@200wpm)___ 441(@250wpm)___ 368(@300wpm)
Who was this person in my body? I didn’t like her.
Peter looked like he agreed with me, and his mouth pinched in at the corners.
He looked me up and down before shifting his newspaper under his arm and raising his hand to pinch at the top of his nose. “I think it’s time we had a talk.” He nodded in the direction I was going. “Go. Shower. Change. Come back to my office in an hour.”
My tongue weighed down on the bottom of my mouth. My throat swelled and I couldn’t speak for a moment.
A flare of regret pierced me, jarring me, but he moved on.
Climbing the stairs, I pushed open our bedroom door and stopped just inside.
The encounter with Peter hadn’t been good, but this, coming into this room, this was worse. So much worse.
The night out with Matt had helped distract me, probably part of his reason, and I knew there was so much going on, but I felt the room’s emptiness inside of me. It was pushing out everything in there, and I was a void hole in its place.
I missed Kash.
I was an idiot. And a fool. I was a total and complete fool, and I needed to call Kash now. Like, now now. Not later now, but the immediate now.
But I couldn’t.
Damn.
Shower. Change. My first lecture ever from my father. After that, if I was still standing and in one piece, I’d call Kash and grovel.
Sighing, I went to get this going.
* * *
Peter was on the phone when I stopped outside. The door was slightly ajar, so I knocked softly and stuck my head in.
He motioned for me to come in. “I have to go. My daughter just came in.”
My daughter.
That was nice to hear, and the acid built. It made the whole “dad being disappointed in you” even worse.
Putting the phone back, he looked me over again. This time his eyes were a little kinder, and I hated seeing it. There was so much pity in there.
I sat in one of his chairs, sipping my coffee like it was my shield to the world. “You’re going to lecture me.” Taking a cue from Matt, I slunk down in my chair. If I’d still been speaking Matt’s language, I would’ve thrown a leg over one of the armrests.
“No, actually.”
My eyes squinted over the top of my mug. “Huh?”
A ghost of a smile flashed before he cleared his throat. It was gone, and a hollow look entered his gaze. “I’m in no position to lecture you. You’ve been through so much that I can’t fathom how you’re still standing. You going and having a Matt night, I’m shocked this was the first time it happened. Truth be told, I won’t be surprised if it happens a few more times.”
I didn’t want understanding.
Anger blazed through me.
Peter gave me a sad smile. “I know something happened with Kash, but while I love you both, that’s also not what I wanted to talk to you about.”
“Oh.” I frowned. “What then?”
“Payton.”
I groaned.
Peter’s faint smile came back. “I expected that response from you, but I had a talk with Seraphina. Your sister and brother need some structure, especially with Quinn’s trial getting more coverage every day. Payton may look like Quinn, but she’s not at all like her. If you’re around her, you’ll start to see her as herself. She’s very loving.”
Loving.
Right.
I didn’t want it.
“Bailey.”
“What?” I snapped.
He stared at me, long and hard, before choosing his words. “I don’t want you to move out, but I also need to think of my other children. I need you to stay. I need Marie to stay. I need Payton to come back, especially because your mother isn’t—” His voice cracked and he looked away.
It was the first time I was seeing his reaction to Chrissy’s death. That hit me hard, too, smack back in the sternum.
I murmured, “I wondered how you were handling it.”
He frowned, blinking rapidly before his eyes seeming to focus on me again. “Handling?”
“She told me right before they attacked that night.”
His Adam’s apple moved up and down. “Told you?”
“That you two were falling in love.”
He breathed in through his nose. “I had no idea you were aware we had gotten to that part.”
“You loved her.” I put the coffee on his desk, hugged myself, and sank low in the chair. “But I get it. I understand why you didn’t tell me.”
Another swift intake of air. “I’m a parent before everything else. You had Kash, but you needed a father, and that is who I will always be for you. I don’t think you know how much I love you, how I would do anything for you.”
I lifted up a corner of my mouth, letting him see the sadness on my face, and then I noted, “But I do know. It’s the same love you have for Ser and Cyclone. It’s why you’re bringing someone back that’s the face of my kidnapper.” He went rigid, but I stood. I leaned down, placed one hand on his desk, and flattened my palm there. My fingers were turned toward him. “You don’t have to worry about me. If you say Payton will help my siblings, then I’ll deal. I love them, too.”