Total pages in book: 55
Estimated words: 51407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 257(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 171(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 51407 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 257(@200wpm)___ 206(@250wpm)___ 171(@300wpm)
Even so, I can’t avoid my responsibilities any longer. I sigh. “Can you keep an eye on her? I don’t expect she’ll come to any harm in the gardens or the village, but—”
“You worry.” Inna squeezes my shoulder. “I understand. It’s been a while since I’ve worked a shift in the gardens. Bogdan will be content enough with the extra set of hands.”
“Thank you.” Some of the tightness leaves my shoulders. “I appreciate it.”
“I like her.” Inna takes my mug and turns toward the door, a clear order to stop moping and get back to the many tasks that come with leadership. “We all do.”
Historically, I’ve found peace in the minutiae of paperwork. Peoples don’t sing ballads about the wars that are fought and won over contracts and trading agreements, but I’ve been bloodied in wars immortalized in songs and I’d rather the backache from hunching over my desk for hours on end. If I do my job right, no one has to die.
At my desk is where Belladonna finds me, hours and hours later, when the sun hangs low in the sky outside the large windows in my study. She slips through the door with her head bent low, as if she expects to be yelled at for intruding. I know it’s a learned behavior, so as much as it stings to see, I don’t mention it. Hopefully one day she’ll feel safe enough here that some of her tension eases, but that’s not something that can be rushed.
“Am I interrupting?”
I smile and stretch, several bones in my spine popping loudly. “Saving me, more like.” I survey her, taking in how her hair has gone frizzy with the humidity and her cheeks still have a deep glow from spending time outside. There’s a smudge of dirt on her brow and more marking her clothes. She looks . . . happy. “The gardens are well?”
“Yes.” She smiles, and it’s the first sunrise after a vicious storm, filled with hope and the promise of more. “It’s so lovely. Bogdan has taught me so much, and I’m getting better at telling weeds from proper plants. Later this week, he’s going to show me the vegetables and fruits that need to be replanted each year and how he cycles through them to ensure the soil remains healthy.”
Her happiness buoys me out of my chair and guides me around the desk until I stand before her. “It sounds like you’re enjoying yourself.”
“Yes.” It’s almost more sigh than word. She looks so damned kissable that I have to clench my fists to avoid reaching for her. Belladonna smiles sweetly. “Bogdan is gruff, but he’s not cruel. It’s comforting now that I’ve gotten used to him.”
Even as I tell myself not to move, to be patient, to let her come to me, my body isn’t listening. I find myself stroking my claws across her cheek. To my surprise, she leans into the touch and closes her eyes. “I’m glad you’ve found something you enjoy,” I say softly, not wanting to shatter the moment. “Spend as much time there as you want.”
“Just like that?”
“Just like that. Everyone chooses their role in this territory. There are jobs no one particularly wants that we require everyone to cycle through for a short time, but other than that, they follow their joy.” I twine a strand of her hair around my finger and slowly draw it out before letting it fall back to her shoulder.
Belladonna’s eyes shine in a worrisome way, but she’s smiling. “I know I’ve said I don’t believe in hell, which means I probably shouldn’t believe in heaven, but when I did believe, this is kind of what I always imagined heaven to be like.”
I shake my head. “This is real life, little one. There are occasionally challenges with doing things this way. They’re usually easily surmountable, but the fact remains that the challenges exist.”
I don’t know what I expect her to say in response to that, but she licks her lips. “I want to kiss you.”
The moment feels unreal. I haven’t been nervous about kissing someone since I was young, awkward, and filled with more need than I knew how to satisfy. That was years and years ago, and yet my hands shake as I slowly cup Belladonna’s hips. “I want you to kiss me.” I tug her closer. “Please.”
She slowly mirrors my position, taking my hips. It’s a little awkward but somehow sexier for it. Then she goes up onto her tiptoes and kisses me. It’s a light sensation, a faint brushing of her lips to mine, a sweet touch that seduces me right down to my soul.
It wasn’t supposed to be like this. From the moment I agreed to Azazel’s deal, I intended to care for my chosen human, to ensure she was protected and her every need was seen to. But I didn’t expect to feel all these ways. Protective and needy and so fucking angry. I want to slice her family to pieces, to burn their damned church to the ground, maybe to burn every church to the ground to save the future Belladonnas of her realm. This fury is not me, but as she sighs into my mouth, I’m having a hard time remembering why I can’t do all that, beyond the logistics of not being able to travel to the human realm.