Total pages in book: 95
Estimated words: 90217 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 90217 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 451(@200wpm)___ 361(@250wpm)___ 301(@300wpm)
But I was going to fucking walk around with my head up, even while I felt that fear.
Maybe that was the true meaning of “fake it ‘til you make it.” Maybe I’d just always have a little, timid voice inside me, telling me that I should be scared of other people and that I’d never be good enough. But I wanted to push through it for Brody. Because he was more important than any slimy, anonymous, sad person behind a computer screen, posting comments about us.
I almost felt a laugh bubbling up inside me as the sun peeked out from behind the silvery clouds in the sky for the first time all morning. The light glittered over the freshly fallen snow, making the white-capped trees look like they were bedecked with jewelry, glimmering all across the quad.
Just as I’d finished crossing the big, grass lawn that was currently just a blanket of snow, I saw him.
Coming up the low, sloped hill toward the quad was Brody Bryant, the sun shining from behind him, looking all around.
“Logan,” Brody said as he saw me, breaking into a jog to cross over to meet me. He came up and immediately wrapped his arms around me in a tight hug, squeezing me. “I’m so sorry. I am so, so fucking sorry. I promise you we don’t ever have to go to a party together again.”
“Brody—”
“And if you don’t want to hang out with me at all, I understand. I never wanted this to happen. I never—”
“Brody,” I repeated, leaning back to look in his eyes.
Christ, I’d never seen him look so torn up before. He looked absolutely anguished, and was clearly more upset than I had even been before.
“It’ll never happen again,” he said.
“It might,” I said.
He paused for a moment, shocked by what I’d said. “What?”
“It might happen again,” I said. “And that would be okay.”
“Logan, what do you mean?”
I pulled in a long breath, shrugging. “What if the worst has already happened?” I asked. “A week ago—hell, a day ago—I would have thought that people gossiping about me online would be unbearable. And I guess it was, for a while, there. I certainly thought my world was falling apart when I first read it.”
“God, I can’t believe you had to read that alone,” Brody said, squeezing his eyes shut for a moment. “I’m so dumb. I shouldn’t have left. I didn’t think you’d see it so soon.”
“Brody, don’t worry about it,” I said. “I mean it. Because what I’m saying is that the worst has already happened. People talked about me. They’ll probably talk a little bit more. But then they’ll move on to the next thing. I… I can handle it, Brody.”
It was strange to say it and actually feel that it was true.
I’d resolved to tell Brody that I was okay, that I would be strong and just deal with the discomfort as best as I could.
But when I said it, it actually felt like the truth.
I did feel stronger now. I really wasn’t worrying about what people might think of me, or all of the stupid judgments they might make. Because I realized that I didn’t have to be alone through all of it.
“But you’ve been through so much,” he whispered. “I need you to be okay.”
“This isn’t like high school anymore,” I said simply. “I had nowhere to turn when the whole world felt fucked up, back then. Nowhere. I barely had friends at all. Everything’s different, now. I don’t have to bear the brunt of all that hurt on my own.”
“You don’t have to feel alone at all,” Brody said, nodding. “You aren’t alone. You’ve got me.”
My heart did a little kick in my chest. I nodded once. “Exactly.”
“And you’ve got Dani, who is awesome, by the way. And hell, you’ve got Vance and Mike on your side, know that much. Pretty much my whole team likes you, after your beer pong skills last night.”
I let out a tiny laugh. “And, weirdly enough, I’ve got Roman, too.”
Brody nodded. “Roman thinks you’re awesome. I bet he’d talk to you anytime you needed.”
“I can confirm that he definitely would,” I said. “Later on, remind me to tell you about the pep talk he gave me this morning. He kind of saved me from an awful morning. Maybe even a whole awful semester.”
Brody’s face lit up, and I saw him smile for the first time since we’d found each other. One of his dimples appeared, and my heart felt like it might just thump right out of my chest.
“You talked to Roman,” Brody said. “I’m so, so glad you weren’t all alone.”
“I planned on being alone, but sometimes the world has different ideas.”
He licked his lips. “God, you’re so damn right about that, Logan.”
In another moment he leaned in, pressing his lips to mine. His hands slowly made their way to the sides of my head, cradling it.