Total pages in book: 71
Estimated words: 69098 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 69098 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 345(@200wpm)___ 276(@250wpm)___ 230(@300wpm)
Mom pops me on the cheek. Not hard enough to bruise, but enough to get my attention. “Language.”
I want to call her a bitch too, but I bite my tongue. Dawson tries to swat at me, so I give him my evil glare that makes his older brothers cry. He bursts into tears, making me cackle with laughter.
“Just try for me and Daddy,” Mom huffs. “Please. It’s not forever. All I’m asking is for you to make peace with these people until they leave. Their families have been hit hard with trauma and heartache. The least we can do is be kind to them.”
I know this is an argument I’ll never win. So for the sake of both our sanities, I nod in agreement. “Yes, ma’am.”
She leans in and kisses the cheek she just smacked. “Love you, Rae. You’re fiery just like your father. It’s a great quality that’ll serve you well in life.”
I’m gaping after her long after she disappears inside. Since when is my combative nature a great quality? And she literally just smacked me for it. Ugh, parents are confusing.
So are brothers.
My mind drifts to last night before the men left. Ryder pressed himself against me. His mouth was hot against my cheek and so close to my lips. I’d loved the thrill that had zipped through my body. Ryder didn’t even kiss me and it was still better than the actual kissing I’d done with CJ. With CJ, it was just motions.
I bet Ryder kisses like he wants to eat you alive.
I bet his cock would love to rub up against me as he shoved his tongue against mine.
My mouth waters at the thought. It’s twisted and wrong. Weeks ago I couldn’t stop thinking about Ronan doing that very same thing. I’d still give anything to defy all the rules and kiss my older brother, but I can also definitively say the same about Ryder too.
There really is something wrong with me because I’d be happy to kiss them both.
Maybe these women are being strange around me because they can sense the wrongness inside me. Maybe I’m transparent and they know I want things I’m not allowed to have.
Maybe I should leave, all right.
But instead of with CJ’s group or to town with Wild and his family, maybe I should just run far, far away where no one knows me.
I can be whoever I want to be.
* * *
* * *
My mind is everywhere but on this hunt for Kristen’s abusers.
The storm from last night brought cooler temperatures and saturated the forest through and through, but the heat that still pools in my gut can’t be put out.
I’m burning from the inside out.
Heat licks at me anytime I catch Ryder’s eye as we silently traipse through the thick underbrush.
He rubbed me through my clothes until I came. My ultimate fantasy came to life last night as me and my brother found shelter from the raging storm.
He was jealous.
Somehow he knew I’d kissed Logan and it made him furious.
To say I was shocked he’d put his hand on my dick was the understatement of the year. Ryder expertly rubbed me until I made a mess of my underwear—underwear that I’d removed in the middle of the night and stuffed deep in my backpack. Having to hunt going commando was worth it.
Last night was the best night of my life.
Kissing Logan wasn’t bad either. It was really nice, in fact. I’d wanted his attention and touch so fucking badly.
Until Ryder.
With Ryder, it’s different. Between us, we have history and friendship and an unbreakable bond. We’re brothers. The feelings go much deeper than the novelty of meeting another man who wanted to kiss and touch me.
It’s wrong, though.
He’s a man and my brother.
I can’t even begin to imagine what my parents would think. Or Rae. Rae would feel so betrayed.
Guilt gnaws at my gut, making the meager breakfast of jerky sour in my stomach.
As good as last night felt with Ryder, especially when I could calm him down from being so angry, it can’t happen. We’re family. It’s just not right. And as thrilling as kissing Logan was, that’s wrong on a whole other level. He’s married. None of these scenarios are good or something to be proud of.
I’m destined to be alone.
My chest aches at the thought of spending my days lonely and without a companion. I may prefer the touch of a man, but if I had to make a choice between no one and a woman, I’d choose a woman.
I want to love and be loved.
I want to have my own family to care for and protect.
Ryder keeps glancing my way, but I avoid his stare. What does he see when he looks at me? A fucked-up brother who’s drowning in shame? A young man he must protect from his own actions?