Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 127715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 639(@200wpm)___ 511(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 639(@200wpm)___ 511(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
Harry’s hands smoothed up my back. “I know you did.”
I focused on Harry’s hands and silently agreed. Wholeheartedly.
“You?” I asked. Then I dipped my voice, “I mean, outside of Winnie.”
“No one.”
I blinked in the dark. “No one?”
He tightened his arms around me. “No one.”
Was he for real?
I harked back to try to remember when I heard he’d lost his wife.
I wasn’t sure, but I thought it was around eight years ago.
So again…
Was he for real?
“You mean not like anyone to, um…you know, even, uh…clear out the waterworks?”
For a second, he just lay there.
Then he busted out laughing.
I liked the sound. I liked how his doing it felt, his long body in my bed making it shake. I liked just feeling that long body tremble with humor.
But I liked how he automatically tucked me even closer when he did it best of all.
He was still chuckling when he asked, “Clear out the waterworks?”
“I sense you know what I mean,” I replied tartly.
“I know what you mean, sweetheart.”
Yep, still chuckling.
“I thought you guys needed that,” I remarked.
He sobered when he replied, “No. Some guys need women to think we need it so they can play on a woman’s guilt and innate nature to nurture so she’ll give it up to him. Men can go without. Especially those who understand sex is meaningful, they had a relationship that was the most meaningful thing in their lives, and they know anything less would be a pale imitation, mocking what they know they can have if they find the right person. I have the equipment and the imagination to take care of myself in the meantime, and I did.”
There it was.
The perfect scheme to get my mind off all that was happening.
Putting in it visions of Harry’s amazing chest flexing and swelling as he jacked off.
Harry shifted, and I felt his nose skim my jaw until his lips were at my ear.
“I’ll demonstrate for you someday,” he whispered there.
Oh my.
Proof my good guy could be bad.
I shivered, wanting that “someday” to be now.
On that thought, I let my hands roam his skin.
He was so warm and hard everywhere, but his skin was so soft.
Harry settled his head back on the pillows, offering, “I’ll take you there, honey, if you want me to, be happy to do that for you, but I’m not going there.”
My hands stilled. “What if I want to take you there?”
And I did. Big time. Since it felt like I’d been wanting Harry Moran for a lifetime.
But especially now, considering I knew how long it had been for him.
I mean, I pretty much thought he held some sorcery, because he was just that magnificent, but that was a super long wait for anybody.
“I know you want to take me there,” Harry replied. “I hope you know how hard it is to deny letting you do it. But it can’t happen now.”
He pressed into me so I fell to my back and his long, strong body was mostly on top of mine.
“This position doesn’t help, Harry,” I informed him.
Another chuckle, this one lower, sexier, which also didn’t help.
Then he said, “Let’s get you through the next couple of days.”
I huffed.
“If I can make it, you can make it,” he challenged.
“It really is inconvenient, the strong handle you have on your ethics and morals,” I grumbled.
He kissed my neck and said there, “Promise to make it worth it.”
“Again, not helping, Harry Moran,” I told the dark ceiling.
The shadow of his head obscured that view. “You’ve lived too long with questions, now you have an answer. I know how that answer feels, especially considering the permanence of it. The fact there’s nothing you can do to change it. The fact you’d give everything to change it. Now I’m asking you to trust me to navigate you through the worst of it.”
Well, that put a damper on the raging libido ignited by having Harry’s partially clothed body in my bed.
“I’m sorry you lost her,” I whispered.
“I know you are, baby.”
“Even if it means, if you didn’t, you wouldn’t be here.”
“I know.”
“I’m sorry you understand what I’m going through too, losing Winnie, and your mom.”
“I know, Lilly.”
“And I’m not going to think you’re taking advantage,” I assured him. “In fact, I’m worried you’ll think I’m taking advantage of you.”
I watched his shadowed head twitch. “Taking advantage of me?”
“Dragging your uniforms here, your dogs here, sixty pounds of dog food.”
“Lilly—”
“It’s got to be a pain.”
“Am I acting like it’s a pain?”
I thought about it, then said, “No. But you wouldn’t.”
“All right, let’s do this,” he stated in a way, even if I wasn’t sure what “this” was, I was both excited to find out and scared shitless.
I didn’t get the chance to voice my dichotomy of emotions at his announcement.
He “did this.”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t want to be here. Expanding on that, I’m very aware of what’s being communicated that I’m here. If I wasn’t serious about what we’re doing, if I wasn’t into you, if I didn’t want to know you better, if I wasn’t in a place I was ready and willing to put in that work, and aware I was doing it and what I was saying by doing it, I wouldn’t be here. But I’m here, Lillian. My dogs are here. My uniforms are here. My shampoo is here. This is not a hardship. I’m not making a sacrifice. I’m not racking up brownie points. I’m doing what I need to do for a woman I care about who is going through a seriously shit time. You are not taking advantage of me. If we were casual, or I had doubts, or I simply wasn’t sure, believe me, I would not be here. I would not make that statement. But again…I’m here.”