Total pages in book: 127
Estimated words: 127715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 639(@200wpm)___ 511(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 127715 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 639(@200wpm)___ 511(@250wpm)___ 426(@300wpm)
His arms around me spasmed.
I turned my head so I could rest my cheek on his shoulder and snaked my arm around his flat belly. “I’ll tell you if Willie or any of the Zowkowers contact me.”
“Okay, Lilly,” he murmured.
“This is it, isn’t it?” I whispered, hope heavy in my tone.
He knew what I was asking, I knew with how tight he held me before he loosened his hold.
“This is it, sweetheart. You okay with that?”
I hadn’t been okay for sixteen years.
Now, I knew they were gone and would never come back, not really. Just what was left of them would.
But I was more than okay.
And they would be okay, knowing how okay I was.
“So okay, we’re redefining the word okay with how okay I am,” I said.
I felt his body relax.
“I wish you knew them,” I whispered.
“I wish I did too,” he returned my whisper.
“I think Maddie’s right. Ronnie told me all she has planned for them, and it’s perfect. I think when it happens, it’ll help a lot.”
“Rus was worried she was too forthright. They try to encourage that with her, but sometimes it’s the wrong time.”
“She wasn’t too forthright. Kids are smarter than we give them credit for, and if we’d just listen, we’d know it.”
“Yeah.” He caught a lock of my hair and started twirling it. “You want kids?”
Oh, we were definitely getting into the deep stuff.
“Yeah.”
“How many?”
“Two, maybe three. You?”
“Two.” He tugged playfully on my hair. “Maybe three.”
I smiled against his shoulder.
“Boys? Girls? You care?” I asked.
“Healthy,” he answered.
And there I was…
So, so deep.
And it was warm and safe down there with Harry, not exposed and alone with the storms of life buffeting me at random.
I wondered if Mom felt like this the entire time she had Dad, but even wondering, I knew she did.
I knew something else too.
They’d worry about me. They’d hate to leave me.
But they went together, and I knew into my soul there was peace in that for them, because neither of them had to live without the other for more than instants.
And I found peace with that.
It didn’t mean I was at peace with how they were taken.
But there was peace in that.
More peace came when Harry spoke again.
“Though, I’d want them in sports, no matter the gender,” he went on. “Or some extracurricular activity. Definitely there will be a strict limit on screentime.”
“Totally. They need to be outside. Or doing something. Music or crafts or whatever.”
“Yeah.”
We were oh-so deep, and we stayed deep, talking about kids, how Harry liked how close to his work my house was, how he wasn’t tied to his, even if he grew up there, because of all that he’d lost there.
We talked about giving it a little time, and cleaning out my parents’ room together, and redoing it, so we could lay them to rest in my house too.
We talked about me meeting his dad, his brother, his sister-in-law and his niece and nephew. We further talked about how cute that niece and nephew were.
We talked about how he’d meet the only brother and sister I’d ever had, Shane and Sherise, because they were coming up for the memorial.
We talked until I got drowsy, and Harry turned into me so we were both on our sides, he was snuggling me close and murmuring, “Go to sleep, baby.”
So that was when he stopped talking, because I did as Harry asked, and within moments, I fell fast asleep.
TWENTY-FIVE
Waiting to Drop
Harry
The next morning, Lillian was at his side, his dogs at her house snoozing on their new beds (except Linus, who was up on the couch, something Harry allowed at home, and Lillian made clear she allowed too, even if her couch was a lot nicer than his). They were snoozing because he’d taken them on a run.
Now, Harry and Lillian were walking into Aromacobana together because this was what Lillian described as her daily splurge.
She hadn’t woken before him that day.
In fact, he got up, put on his running clothes, took his dogs out and ran a few miles, came back and fed them, showered, and made himself a coffee before she stumbled out, sleepy-eyed, wild-haired and adorable.
She hadn’t had a lot of sleep the night before, so Harry was pleased as fuck she was getting caught up.
He was more pleased she was there with him, where he was at in his head with where they were in their relationship.
What he wasn’t pleased about was Willie Zowkower deciding to fuck with her again.
But that wasn’t going to be for Lillian.
No.
Harry would take care of that.
After she crashed sleepily into him and he held her for a few minutes, he said, “Get dressed, sweetheart, let’s go to Aromacobana.”
She nodded, pushed her face into his chest like it was an added hug, then she pulled away and did as he asked.