Total pages in book: 147
Estimated words: 139662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 698(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 139662 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 698(@200wpm)___ 559(@250wpm)___ 466(@300wpm)
“And somehow that makes you a bad guy? How’s that supposed to make me feel?” It’s my turn to look away. I understand the logic. It would’ve been better for everyone if I’d died while handing the crown over, but I feel too much for Finn to hear that while I look into his eyes.
“Brie,” he breathes. “Look at me.” I don’t, and his fingers find my chin again and he turns me until I meet his eyes. “Wanting to keep you alive doesn’t make me the bad guy. I’ve told you already that I’m glad you took the damn potion. But I’m an idiot for not figuring out sooner that you were in love with him. For not figuring out sooner just how deeply you trusted him. I was blind. I’m not mad at myself because I didn’t end your life. I’m mad at myself for not finding a way around it.”
“You told me yourself you’d been trying for years—to find a way to get the crown that wouldn’t bring me harm. Was that true?”
“Of course it was true.”
“So why are you to blame for not finding a solution that doesn’t exist?”
He releases my chin. “I’m to blame for allowing my father to get things to this point to begin with.”
“So now you’re responsible for his actions?”
“No,” he growls, his voice echoing in the night. He drags a hand through his hair. “I’m responsible for mine. I told you, I was spoiled, and I got what I wanted. I wanted Isabel, so she and I planned to be bonded in secret and begin our lives together. If it meant my father’s refusing to pass me the crown, so be it. She wanted children, so we planned to have our family first, and I’d give her the Potion of Life before I took the throne from my father. We were in no hurry. If anything, I wanted more time before taking the throne. I wanted us to enjoy a life together before the pressures of ruling changed our lives. This was after Mordeus stepped in to rule, but I was sure it would all be handled quickly. My father had returned from the mortal lands and was weak from his many months there, but once he regained his power, I was sure he’d find a way to be rid of Mordeus without pulling our court into an internal war.” He blows out a breath. “I was so naïve. About the hold Mordeus had over his followers, but mostly about the queen’s power. Her rage and resentment. We all were.”
“What happened?” I ask.
Finn takes my hand, as if he needs the comfort of my touch to tell his story. “The day Isabel and I were to be bonded, my father showed up and asked me to help him. He’d planned a scheme to reclaim his role from Mordeus. I don’t even know what it was, though later I wished I’d listened, wished I’d had the details to remove my uncle from the palace and his tenuous position of power. I denied my father. Isabel had planned the day out, and I would’ve given her anything. But I did it out of spite too. I was bitter that he wouldn’t support my future with Isabel, and I wanted him to suffer for it.”
I squeeze his hand, and he cuts his eyes to me and grimaces. “I’m ashamed that I didn’t put my court first that day. If I had, everything would be different.”
“Tell me what happened.”
“Isabel and I had our special day leading up to the ceremony, and as we said our vows . . .” He swallows and turns away, and when he looks at me again, his tear-filled eyes sparkle in the moonlight. “I felt off that afternoon. Not sick, but weaker in a way I couldn’t explain. I had no way of knowing that the queen had just cursed all my people—cursed me. The moment my bond with Isabel was complete, she died in my arms.” He shakes his head. “We were in a secluded cabin in the mountains, just north of here, completely alone. I didn’t have the potion. I hadn’t sourced the ingredients yet, and we weren’t planning to use it for years. I wasn’t prepared. And she died in my arms. Pure terror on her face.”
And I had judged him. I judged him so harshly for killing her. For taking her life to hold on to his magic after the queen cursed his people. I judged him, and he didn’t even know what he was doing. “Finn, I’m so sorry.”
He swallows. “When the power from a human life is transferred to you, it’s a physical rush. I thought there was something horribly broken inside me. I sat there with the woman I loved dying in my arms and felt more alive than I had in my entire life, and I hated myself for it.”