Total pages in book: 123
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 114467 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 572(@200wpm)___ 458(@250wpm)___ 382(@300wpm)
“The rules are there—” I put my hand up.
“I know why the rules are there,” I tell him. “Trust me, I get it. I don’t think I would be where I am today if I had started dating her six months ago.” I take a deep breath and look up at him. “I’m not that person I was. They say you know when you hit rock bottom.”
“You think you hit rock bottom?” he asks me quietly, leaning back in his chair.
“I don’t think I hit rock bottom. I know I did,” I tell him. “And I didn’t just do it once. I hit it twice.” He raises his eyebrows. “I hit rock bottom, or I was forced to admit I was at the bottom when I entered rehab. I accepted the help because I had no choice. But …” I look out the window and blink away the stinging in my eyes. “When I lost Zoe because I let the wrong people in, because it was the old habit, that was my rock bottom. Having her walk away from me and letting her do it because I knew I wasn’t strong enough was my rock bottom. I just did it sober, and I have to say”—I chuckle—“it sucked so much more than the first time.”
“No one can tell you when the right time is for anything,” Jeffrey says. “Everyone has their own journey with how they heal and grow from it.” He leans on the table. “No one is going to tell you that you are wrong or that you’re right. It is for you to know. You know the steps, and you know the struggle. No one else.”
“Thank you,” I tell him, and he tilts his head. “For not telling me what to do, but for listening.”
“That’s my job as your sponsor,” he says. “It’s not for me to sit here and dictate how you should do things. It’s for me to help you be that person who you were always meant to be.”
I nod at him and take a long sip of juice, and we sit here for the next little while talking about hockey, and when I sit in the meeting, I do it with different eyes. I do it knowing that it’s a struggle, but I have the strength in me to do the right thing.
Chapter Thirty-Six
Viktor
“Any place in particular you want to eat at?” I ask her a couple of hours later. We walk out of the hospital holding hands, but not only that, I walk with my head held high. I’m proud that she is beside me.
“I just want to lounge around, so we can pick up something to eat and go to my house if you want?” she says, but I shake my head.
“Let’s go back to my place,” I say and then tell her why. “It’s closer to the hospital if Zara needs you.”
She smiles up at me like I hung the moon. “Oh, you’re good,” she says, and I lean down again and kiss her lips. Just a soft touch, but it’s everything.
“Let’s just go over to my place,” I say, walking to the edge of the sidewalk and putting up my hand. “And we can Uber eats something while you relax.” A yellow cab stops right there, and I open the door for her to get in, and then I get in next to her. I give the guy my address and then smile down at her. I’m not expecting her to be so close, but I’m also not expecting to want to touch her so badly. My hand comes out and cups her cheek and then she leans up and kisses me, leaving her lips lingering on mine for a bit. I turn my head just a touch, and my mouth opens at the exact time she slips her tongue into my mouth. We kiss the entire way to my house, not stopping or letting the other one go. We kiss softly and deeply the whole time, and my hand never leaves her face. When the cab driver clears his voice, I finally let her go, grabbing her hand and exiting the cab.
We walk into the house together, and she takes off her boots at the door and then shrugs her vest off and places it on one of the stools. “Do you want something to drink?”
“Water,” she says, and she walks into the kitchen with me standing right next to me. “When are you going to order?” she asks me, putting her hands on my hips.
“Now,” I say, smiling down at her as she bites her lip. “Why?”
“One, I’m starving,” she says, her hands wrapping more around my waist. “And two, I would like to continue the kissing thing.” She gets on her tippy toes right up against me.