Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
I ignored the ache in my chest, remembering all the times I’d imagined her having my baby. Marrying me. Making a life by my side.
It didn’t matter how many times I’d told myself that was over or how many times I’d told my family that she was in the past—none of it had been true. The day before, I would’ve clung to it, trying to convince myself that I didn’t even know her anymore. That we were completely different people now.
After spending the day with her, I realized those things were true but they mattered a lot less than I’d thought. I wanted Noel just as much now as I’d wanted her then. I still loved her.
I loved the way she fidgeted when she was upset, I loved the way she treated her girls and the way they clearly thought the sun rose and set for her alone. I loved the way she walked, her hips swaying from side to side with just the hint of a waddle as she leaned back to compensate for her belly. I loved the way she quietly and unobtrusively put me in my place when I was overstepping. The way she laughed. The way she treated my mom. I loved the way she’d fit in seamlessly with my family. Her loyalty to Esther and by extension, my brother.
She was beautiful and sexy and I didn’t even think she realized it. She could still order me around with just a crook of her finger and she didn’t realize that either. It felt a little weird, thinking about a pregnant woman in those terms, knowing that if she’d let me, I’d bend her over the couch and take my time with her, but when I looked at her I didn’t see a pregnant woman. I saw Noel. Gorgeous Noel who’d given me her first everything and made my heart race and still made my dick hard like no one else I’d ever met. Suddenly, as if my thoughts had broken the floodgates, I was desperate to see her naked.
I shifted uncomfortably.
“What are you thinking about so hard?” she asked quietly.
I was pretty sure my face was on fire. “Nothin’ much,” I muttered.
“Do you think Esther has had the baby yet?”
I was an idiot. While I was sitting there, coming to some huge revelation about how much I loved her and wanted to fuck her, she’d been worrying about her sister. I hadn’t even thought about Esther in the last few hours.
“I think they’ll call when he’s here,” I replied. “Want me to text Otto?”
“No, that’s okay. Don’t bother him.”
“I’ll text him. Now, I’m curious about how shit’s going.”
“Don’t you think it’s weird,” she said tentatively, glancing at me before looking back at her hands. “That he’s there?”
“What do you mean?” I asked carefully, fearing I already knew the answer. My heart broke for her as she shifted a little on the couch, trying and failing to act like how I answered her didn’t matter one way or the other.
“Isn’t it weird that he’s there with her while she’s having the baby?” She shrugged casually. “It just seems strange to me.”
“No,” I murmured, my throat tight. Her husband had been a real piece of shit. I wished that he was still alive so I could kill him. “I think it’s good that he’s there.”
“Really?” she asked dubiously.
“Yeah. Really. If my wife was havin’ a baby, there’s nothin’ that could stop me from bein’ there.”
“It gets pretty gross,” she said frankly, meeting my eyes in disbelief. “You’d change your mind.”
“I wouldn’t.”
“Okay,” she said disbelievingly, looking back at the little square she was working on.
“Noel,” I called, waiting for her to look at me before continuing. “Any man that doesn’t want to be with his woman when she’s havin’ their baby is a waste of fuckin’ space. Alright? If my woman was havin’ a baby, I’d be there every second—even the gross parts.”
She nodded, but I didn’t think she believed me.
It was then that it finally hit home that Noel and I might never have the relationship that I wanted. Her view of marriage had become so skewed from that dickhead she’d been saddled with and the way she was raised that she probably wouldn’t be ready for something new for years, if ever.
And I couldn’t even blame her for it.
Chapter 9
Noel
I woke with my heart racing and glanced over to where the girls were curled up together, Diana’s head in Ariel’s armpit. Thankfully, they were still completely passed out.
Carefully sliding off the edge of the bed, I slid my feet into a pair of slippers and quietly left the room. Otto and Esther’s bathroom was a tiny haven as I leaned against the counter and stared at myself in the mirror.
I’d had a sex dream about Titus.
My face flamed red.