Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
“Daddy!” Flora screamed, shooting up from her place on the floorboard.
Then Otto was there at the window, his eyes frantic as he took us in. He glanced behind him for a moment before meeting my eyes. “Unlock the doors, sweetheart,” he said gently, his voice startlingly low and deep.
I was shaking so bad that it took me a moment to get back over into the driver’s seat. The moment I did, I unlocked the doors.
My door and the back door were both thrown open at once. Otto reached for Flora in the back.
Then suddenly, I was looking into Bas’s deep-brown eyes. I noticed distractedly that his face was so pale he almost looked gray.
“I’m sorry,” I said.
The sound around me was muffled, like my ears were full of water.
As Otto moved back with Flora, his brother Rumi reached inside and picked up Diana, who was closer to the door. Then Cian was there, reaching for an unresisting Ariel.
It felt like I was watching a movie as they lifted my babies out of the car. Like I was there, but not. There was something separating me from what was happening around me.
“Come on,” Bas said softly as he helped me out of the car.
The world spun as Ariel reached for me, and I stumbled to the side as I took her in my arms. Then Diana was there, too, and we were all holding each other so tightly. Bas was holding me up from behind as he herded us toward the house.
I just kept whispering that I was sorry. Over and over again. I was so sorry. I was so sorry.
Diana stuffed her face against my neck and I belatedly realized that I wasn’t holding her. My arm was around her, but I wasn’t supporting her weight. Bas was. I was holding Ariel.
Ariel who was still silent, her hands fisted in my hair.
I made it to the front steps before my legs went out from under me. There was only so much that Bas could do, and when I went down, he broke the fall but he couldn’t stop the momentum.
“Titus,” Bas yelled.
I was on the bottom step, the girls wrapped around the entire top half of me, when Titus fell to his knees in front of me.
His hands were everywhere. My face, my hair, my arms, Ariel’s head, her back, Diana’s head, her back, each of their arms and legs. His eyes were frantic as his hands physically searched for injury.
“I’m sorry.”
“Sugar,” he breathed.
“What happened?” my sister yelled from somewhere, her voice trembling with fear.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered, staring into Titus’s eyes.
“Stop, baby,” he murmured gently.
Without a word, Ariel’s arm flew out and she gripped his shirt in her little fist.
He leaned forward with a shudder, wrapping himself around us.
“I’m takin’ care of it,” Tommy said from somewhere above us. His voice was almost unrecognizable, there was so much rage in it. The affable, kind man that I knew was no longer there. I didn’t care.
“I’m sorry,” I breathed, dropping my head against Titus’s shoulder, the scent and feel of him centering me.
Neither of my girls had spoken.
“Are you okay?” Titus asked, his lips against my ear. “Tell me you’re okay.”
I nodded.
Diana’s little peach fuzz covered head rubbed against my jaw and I shuddered. She was so little. She was so little and she was so scared and Ariel still hadn’t said a word and it was my fault.
“Come on,” Titus said, pulling back a little. “Let’s get you inside.”
As I lifted my head, I caught sight of my sister and Otto holding Flora between them. Esther was crying. That was my fault, too.
Ariel went to Titus with a shudder, her arms wrapped around his neck so tightly that their cheeks pressed together. I watched as his eyes squeezed tight, his hand going to the back of her little blonde head, smoothing down her hair.
Then he helped me to my feet and that’s when we realized at the same time that my thighs and skirt were wet.
“Oh, fuck,” he blurted, looking down at me.
My face burned with shame. My water hadn’t broken.
“I peed,” I whispered, my voice breaking. “I was scared and I—”
“Thank God,” he said, shaking his head as he cupped my face in his palms. “It’s okay. It’s fine, baby. It’s fine.”
That’s when I started to cry.
“Hey, we’ll clean you up,” he crooned. “It’s okay. Sugar, come on now. It’s cool. Come on, let’s go clean you up, yeah?”
Tears rolled down my face as he led us slowly back into the house. I didn’t know what was happening outside, but inside was completely silent. He led me up the stairs with a hand at the base of my spine, reminding me to hold the railing.
I almost let out a hysterical laugh at that. If only he’d seen me running down those same stairs with Diana in my arms just a few minutes before.