Total pages in book: 88
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
Estimated words: 86126 (not accurate)
Estimated Reading Time in minutes: 431(@200wpm)___ 345(@250wpm)___ 287(@300wpm)
The day passed slowly. Painfully. Diana woke up and climbed off my lap, but she never went far. She spent the day playing less than a foot from me and Noel, usually on the floor by our feet. Ariel just sat quietly, her fingers sliding along the edges of her blankie. She wouldn’t let Noel move without scooting closer, so they took every bathroom trip together, holding hands.
Eventually, it was bedtime. I led my girls up the stairs, carrying Diana, and when we reached the hallway, I realized that Noel didn’t have a door on her bedroom.
If I asked, the boys would sleep down on the couch to give Noel some privacy, no problem. But as I reached her door and found that Bas had neatly stacked the bags by her bed, but clearly hadn’t unpacked them, I kept walking. I led them up the stairs and into my room.
“You guys can sleep in here,” I told Noel softly, setting Diana down on the bed. “I’m gonna go grab the girls some pajamas.”
“Okay,” she whispered.
She and Ariel were murmuring to each other as I left the room, and when I came back I paused in the doorway. Ariel was on the toilet with the door wide open while Noel sat in eyesight on the bed.
“Progress,” I whispered, smiling at Noel.
She smiled back. It didn’t reach her eyes.
I helped her dress the girls and tucked them all into bed.
“Stay?” Noel whispered as I got up to leave. She was on her side facing me, with Diana curved against her front and Ariel against her back, her little arm thrown over Noel’s belly. “I don’t—” Her gaze dropped and she grimaced. “I’m afraid.”
“I can stay,” I replied instantly. I went and closed my bedroom door and grabbed some sweatpants from my dresser. It only took a few minutes to get ready for bed but by the time I was pulling back the blankets, both Ariel and Diana were snoring softly.
“Thank you,” Noel whispered as I climbed in next to Diana.
“Of course,” I whispered, curving my arm under my head as I turned on my side to face her.
We were quiet for a while, just looking at each other over the top of Diana’s head.
“I was distracted,” Noel finally whispered.
“What do you mean?” I asked cautiously.
“I was distracted when he came to the door,” she replied, her eyes sad. “You’d warned me that he was in town. I should’ve been careful. You told me to be aware.”
“Noel,” I breathed, reaching out to run my fingers over the hair at her temple.
“I was thinking about how I wanted to tell you I love you,” she continued, a tear dripping down the side of her face. “I thought about it all night and when I woke up this morning, I thought, I’m just going to do it. I’m going to tell him.”
“Baby.”
“And I thought, I don’t care if that makes me a bad person because my husband just died. I don’t care if that makes me everything they always called me. I’m not going to wear my hair up anymore and I’m going to tell Titus I love him and I’m going to buy leggings.”
I wanted to laugh at the way she’d described it, putting declaring her love in between changing her hair and buying leggings, but I didn’t. I could feel the weight of her words and exactly what they meant for her. For us.
“He would’ve gotten in the house whether you opened the door or not,” I told her softly. “Or he would’ve waited until you took the girls outside to play and ambushed you then. Shit happens, sugar. None of it was your fault.”
“I should’ve been paying attention.”
“I love you, too,” I murmured, getting right to the heart of her confession.
“I know,” she whispered.
“Sleep, sugar,” I ordered. “I’ll be right here.”
Hours later when Bas knocked softly on my door and poked his head inside to tell me that my pop was downstairs, I was already awake because Diana had kicked me in the balls only a few minutes before.
I raised a hand so he knew I’d heard him.
“What is it?” Noel whispered groggily.
“Gotta run downstairs real quick,” I whispered back. “You want me to leave the door open or closed?”
“Open,” she murmured before closing her eyes again.
I leaned up in the bed and kissed her cheek before carefully extricating myself from the blankets.
Downstairs, my dad and brother Mick were standing in the living room. Bas and Cian were on the couch.
“Noel’s probably gonna get a call,” my dad said when he saw me.
My body locked.
“Tellin’ her that her poor father-in-law lost control of that piece of shit he was drivin’ and died from injuries sustained in the crash,” he continued flatly. “Prepare her for that. She’s real sorry for their loss. Father-in-law was a good man. That type of shit.”